I WISH I HATED YOU

Chapter 22

DORIS'S POV

I shouldn't be falling in love with someone like Leon. He warned me, and he wouldn't do that for no reason. He knows what he is capable of and that surely isn't love. It's just the sudden attention I never got from any other boy, and now someone who can have any girl he wants is all over me. But he chose me, and it drives me insane. There's deep guilt I feel, but when I'm with him, it all fades away. Bible says not to lust or touch anyone before marriage, but Leon's hands are different, and I don't want them off me. I think of them at the moments I shouldn't. Like right now.

"You are so zoned out lately, what has been on your mind lately?" Bella asked,

"It's nothing. Just all the upcoming exams, you know." I lied.

"Sorry about Kyle last night. I gave him lecture after you left."

"I forgot about that completely." I didn't lie this time. Too bad she had to remind me of that.

"I lied," I stormed out of my mind, "It's not exams. It's someone that has been on my mind since who knows how long."

Bella gasped, waiting for me to continue. "You have a crush!" She teased me, pushing me on the arm.

"But don't make fun of me, okay? I know it's embarrassing and I—."

"It's Leon." She said confidently.

"Wait, what?" I pretended I was surprised.

"Doris, everyone has been talking about you two... you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you slow?" She continued, "Hooking up. What else."

"It's not true." I said, questioning my answer. We didn't hook up, right?

"They saw you two leave party together."

"It doesn't mean we hooked up or whatever that means."

Bella leaned, her eyes narrowing with curiosity, "Wait... do you know what hookup is?"

I shook my head, feeling embarrassed, "I mean I've used word before, but what even classifies as hookup?"

"Had no idea you were so innocent. Okay, Doris. Hooking up usually means kissing, touching and sometimes more than that. With no strings attached."

My heart started pounding fast. "So, what about touching and one kiss?" I asked softly, almost not wanting her to hear me.

Bella's smile widened, "Wait, hold on..." She stood up straighter. "So, it's true!"

I could feel my cheeks burnt red from embarrassment, and Bella loved every second of it. "Well, I am not sure if it's hookup because it's so complicated."

Bella gasped dramatically, clasping her hands together in mock excitement. "What makes it complicated? Innocent girl falls for fuckboy like Leon. It's normal, you're human."

I hesitated to correct her instantly, "He's not a fuckboy, Bella. It's the thing that we have been huge enemies since kindergarten. It was always supposed to be like that, but this year things changed."

"Why you never told me any of this?" She nudged me with a grin on her face.

"He was just never worth mentioning unless you want to complain."

Bella laughed, gasping in shock, "Hooking up with your enemy. You really are living in some romcom."

I buried my face with my hands, groaning, "It's not hookup, we barely did anything."

"Kissing, and touching is hooking up, especially with someone like Leon. I doubt he is a person with any morals."

I peeked at her through my fingers, "It's not like that. I didn't mean it to happen. I wasn't in my sane state, and now I feel so guilty."