I WISH I HATED YOU

Chapter 16

SUNDAY, DORIS'S POV

"Wake up!" My dad shouted outside of my room. I was already awake as I was up all night. Leon and I haven't spoken since Tuesday. I thought the pain would go away quickly, but here we are. My eyes were swollen from crying, and sad music still played out of my phone.

"Doris, we are late."

"Yes." I shouted so he doesn't worry. I arched my back and turned off the music. Dad and I go to church every Sunday. I dress up modestly and I pretend to be something I am not. This Sunday, I decided to just show up as myself.

I rushed to brush my teeth, dress and eat something quickly.

"You are really gonna wear that?"

I looked down at my outfit, "Jeans and shirt? What's wrong with that?"

"It's not any shirt. It is some satanic band on it."

"That's just The Smiths. It's not even metal."

"Fine. Let's go."

***

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

The rest replied, "Amen."

My brain turned off, and I looked around the seats to see if there were any familiar faces. There is no one from my school. None of the people I know go to the church. I looked to my left, and my body froze as I saw–.

Leon. Idiot. What is he doing here?

He wore a white T-shirt, and brown cargo pants. It was something out of his character, and something I never saw him wore before. He never showed up to the church. His eyes met mine, and I instantly looked away.

"Brethren, let us acknowledge our sins, and so prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries."

The brief silence followed priest's words.

I lusted over that boy over there. That's the first sin, Lord.

Then, I fell in love with him. That's the second sin.

Mass did not last so long today. Maybe because my mind was zoned out, and I barely paid any attention. My dad went to talk to a few other dads his age, and I walked outside looking for Leon.

He couldn't last long without smoking as I saw him outside sitting on a bench with grey smoke around his face. I ran towards him and faced him.

"What are you doing here?"

"What? Am I not allowed to visit church sometimes?"

He spread his legs, laid his back on the bench and his eyes were on me. "Ugh–. You are so infuriating."

He got up from the bench and approached me. "I came to say sorry."

I gasped, "I am not interested. You messed up and what you did can't be fixed."

"Oh, really. Yet you are there hanging out with person who broke your heart, drugged you at that party I got you out of, and he himself did the bet."

"I am not hanging out with him."

"Doris, I saw the play you signed up for, and who signed up together with you."

"And?" I added, "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous? I couldn't care less."

"Then why are you bothered." I interrupted before he could say anything, "You did way worse than what Kyle ever did."

"Worse? Are you fucking serious?"

You made me fall in love with you, Leon. I said in my head. I wished I had confidence to say it out loud, but I know I'd sound dumb and pathetic.