Hallucinations [HxH story]

8- Catching up +2

Gon's Pov

I didn't really want Killua coming with me. Not in a mean way, it's just a little uncomfortable knowing that he knows where I live. Well not now, I mean later.

What???

My thoughts are all jammed up right now but I guess it's not as bad as it was earlier. I've kinda gotten over it now. It was scary st the moment but maybe it wasn't so bad you know? I felt bad for the situation with Nanika. I threatened to break the locket she goes to if she told anyone. I basically gave her a death threat, she kinda just ran off afterwards. Probably went back in her locket. I shouldn't have threatened her. Should I have? It was kinda the only way. What the fuck? No! I shouldn't have done that. Why do I keep thinking things I don't want to think!? It's not me but it is. No one else can be in my mind, unless I'm being possessed. I think I'm being possessed. I feel like bashing my head through a wall. Everything I think of is stupid but feels totally logical. I'll shut myself when I get to my apartment.

"So...." Muttered Killua

"Are you planning on getting a new job?" He asked

I was trying my best to ignore that. I don't want a new job. I'd rather die 10 deaths than get another job. I'd rather rot and die alone in my room, although that'd be a good thing on my end. This was actually my 4th one in a row. I kept getting fired from all the other places. Once because I told a customer there was poison in hid icecream. Another time at a theater because I told everyone that the fog affect was gonna kill everyone. Then the job after that because I stopped showing up. It's been pretty rough as far as work, but I push through, well, up until yesterday.

I decided to answer his question with an answer that should satisfy him enough.

"Uh.. I don't know" I replied

Nailed it.

I turn to look at him

"How do you have money? Do you have a job?" I asked

He scoffed

"No, I don't think I could ever get a job. Besides, I still have the family's wealth in my hands. I have money and I don't really need to worry about working a job for it"

'Lucky' I thought

We made it to the apartment and we walked in the lobby. I stopped and looked at Killua.

"Hey would you mind if you wait for me here? My apartment is pretty small, I just need to take care of something really quick."

He looked at me and shrugged

"Sure alright, I'll wait here then."

I left and got on the elevator. I pressed my floor number and I went up. I walked to the apartment and unlocked the door then I went in. It was just how I left it. Plastic water bottles scattered around on the floor, random wrappers on my drawers. Clothes everywhere, but a nicely made bed was there. I never sleep in it, the night monster does. He's not that bad, all he does is sit on my bed and state at me. He's here every now and then but he's not now. Maybe because it isn't night.

I picked up a random green sweat shirt off the floor and decided that was gonna be what I wore. I took off my puffer and I went to the bathroom. I took off the dirty blood coated bandage off my arm. There was dried blood on my arm. It was kinda sticky. Gross.

(TW: SH)

I decided to clean off my arm with water. The light burgundy red color dripped from my arm and down the sink. I wipe my arm dry. I look in the mirror and I start remembering what I told Nanika. I pulled out the pocket knife from earlier. I wanted to slit my neck and bleed out in the bathroom. At that moment only thought of Killua and the look on hos face finding me here dead. I decided to slit my arms instead. I made 3 new cuts on both my arms. I watched the blood trickle down and slowly drip to the sink. The dark red color was so sickening to look at, but I liked the way the pain hurts me physically. I always kinds liked pain.