Hallucinations [HxH story]

13- presents

Gon's Pov

*flashback dream sequence*

I was running errands for Aunt Mito at the plaza. She says I've been spending too much time in my room. I can't say it isn't true. I've spent time thinking about everything that happened at Chimera Ant, how I hurt Killua, and what a bad friend I am. I guess I've also been in a low mood. I don't understand why. I'm back at whale Island. I'm with Aunt Into now. I should be happy. I know I say I'm happy to be back but... I don't *feel* happy.

So here I am with a basket Aunt Mito gave me. It already had some stuff in it like eggs and milk. People greeted me as I walk past them and a lot of them tried making conversation with me. I just put on a bright smile and tried acting how I usually act. Maybe I'm not trying to be happy hard enough.

I walked up to a lady selling fish and I took out the list Aunt Mito gave me. She wanted me to buy two fishes. I don't know why but I thought of the butterfly effect. What if I only bought two? The lady might have to move away due to the lack of money. Then again I could catch the fish. But what if I catch sick fishes and I kill everyone. I'll be a monster. What if the lady doesn't like me and tries poisoning one of the fishes? But... I know her... She knows me..! She wouldn't poison me..! Would she..?

"Hello?? Gon?? Is anyone in there?"

I suddenly snapped out of the trance my thoughts left me. The old lady was looking at me with her brow raised.

"Oh! Looks like some one's in there after all" she teased

I gave a nervous laugh, "Sorry, I guess my mind is still hunting" I joked

"Ah but you've been here for four weeks now! You're mind can't still be hunting!" She exclaimed

"Well you know me! I guess I'm still ambitious for adventure!"

"Ah, I'm sure you are! Anyways I'll give you your usual amount" she said, grabbing two fishes.

My mind lingered about the unknown consequences. Why am I being so paranoid about this? This isn't like me at all.

"Um actually!" I blurted

"I-I'll get three this time!" I said

She lady cocked a brow. "Three? Why do you need three? I thought only you and Mito lived together alone after your grandma passed."

"Yeah it's just us but we're having a guest over and we need an extra fish" I made up

"Ah, I see! Well here you go then my boy" she said while handing me the bag of fish.

I paid for the three fish and walked home feeling a bit stupid for buying three fish but I felt more at ease by doing so. I finally arrived home and I entered. Aunt Mito was slicing vegetables in the kitchen. I walked in placing the basket in front of her.

"Hey Aunt Mito I brought you your goods!" I said giving her a little smile

"Oh thank you Gon! You saved me a lot of time!" She smiled as she took the items out of the basket. She took out the fishes and looked confused

"Oh! The fish lady gave you an extra fish on accident!" She remarked

"Um no I brought an extra" I said

"Oh, did you want two?" She asked

"No I got it in case one of them burns or you know, in case one if them went bad so we won't get food poisoning" I explained

She looked at me funny but then just smiled at me and said "Well... Okay!" and then went back to chopping her vegetables.

I went back to my room and closed the blinds. Then I plopped face toward on my bed and went to sleep.

*End*

I fluttered my eyes open. I was lying down on a couch with a blanket over me. I looked up at the ceiling and saw it wiggling, it was wavy sort of.

I groaned as I sat up. Usually when I see waves it means I'm gonna get messed with a lot today. I checked my phone and panicked when I saw the date. The 23rd. I still haven't gotten anyone anything for Christmas. I decided I'd go today while Killua still sleeps. I left him a note on the kitchen table and I headed out. I put on the jacket I got yesterday. I kind of regret buying it because now I have less money to spend on gifts.

I first went to my apartment to get my money from my sock drawer. It's emergency money I have saved up just in case I needed something important. I went inside my trashed apartment and flicked the light switch on except they didn't turn on. Oh great. I forgot to pay the light bill. That's okay, I'll figure out a way to pay it. I approached my sock drawer and counted the money. It was 203 dollars. I contemplated whether I should use the money for bills or my friends. I doubt I'll be able to get another job. Heck, I don't even want to find another job. I'll probably just lose it again anyways. Even if I do get a job somehow, I'll probably be on the streets already so what's the point?
I stashed the money in my pocket and walked out of my apartment. I then made my way to the same mall from yesterday. I saw a few things I could gift for Christmas while I was with Killua so I don't need to do much searching. I walked for maybe an hour until I finally reached the mall. There were a lot of people inside. It made me a little anxious but I had to do this for my friends. They mean the world to me. Honestly I don't think I even deserve them. I wonder if they think of me any different now. I'm not really the same person I used to be. I'm now sort of drained from everything. I'm such a mood killer. Should I even be friends with them anymore? They don't deserve a zombie for a friend.
I sigh in frustration. I hate these thoughts but maybe they're true. I don't deserve them. They don't deserve to put up with me. As I walked into the first store, I made up my mind. After Christmas I'll leave everyone alone.

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I completely forgot about this story ☠️
Sorry it's not long or interesting at the least. I didn't know what else to write.
Hopefully the next chapter is more interesting