Logan's P.O.V.
It has been a week since Justin and I met. Selena is still dating Justin (sadly), but this whole week has been a mess. I saw her sobbing in her room, which really break my heart. Her eyes were swollen and she looked so broken. But then I also saw her smiling and laughing so gladly while talking with someone on the phone. So yeah, this week really is a mess.
I haven't told her yet. I know that I have to, the sooner the better, it's just- when I saw her crying it felt easy, but then the next day she looked so happy and cheerful like how can I ruin that? How can I take off those beautiful natural laughs from her face? I know she really deserves so much than just such a complete asshole but- when she's happy like that I couldn't do anything.
As for Thirteen Reasons Why- we're shooting the last scenes. Last scenes meaning the scenes that the director chooses to be done last because of several reasons, like the chemistry between the actors and actresses. In other words, yes, we're shooting the scenes involving romantic relationships with Hannah a.k.a Selena. And this is also why I haven't told Selena yet. I mean we have such a good chemistry already, and telling her about it has a possibility of ruining everything.
"HOLAAA!"
I shudder at the sound that surprises me and see Selena bursting into my room. Damn, the fucking timing.
"Soooooo, wanna grab some food?" Selena asks, and as usual, always about food. It's actually like around 10 A.M., and I saw her eating chinese like- an hour ago.
"Sel, you just ate chinese like what- an hour ago?" I point it out to her. Damn what is with her and food? Like eating that much and not getting fat? Really?
"Yeah, or 60 minutes ago which is a long time already," she defends herself, insisting to still go out to eat something. "Come on Loggy, McDonalds?"
I give her this 'seriously' look like long enough for her to reply my facial expression with a nod and a face saying that she's serious. I sigh and stand up from the sofa, which makes Selena jumping up and down like a little child getting what she wants. Sometimes I also wonder if she really is her age.
Selena orders her usual food at McDonalds, which implies to waffle, french fries, a burger, and pancakes. Since I'm not that hungry I just eat some of her fries, even though she's kinda mad at that. I've told you about Foodlena, haven't I? Done eating we decide to talk a bit before we get back to the shooting area.
"So Loggy- have you heard about the scene today?"
"Nah, what about it?
"Well, my Mom told me today's scene will be where Hannah makes out with Clay."
Oh. Wait, what? I choke at that. "What?"
Selena has her eyes on her pancakes as she eats them. "I said, we're going to shoot the part where Hannah makes out with Clay, you know, the one inside the room, remember?"
Okay. I know about the scene well Selena, trust me, I have been imagining us doing the scene since like I've received the script. But doing the scene today? Whoa man I'm not mentally ready. Besides we haven't really practiced before. "How can I not know about this?"
She shrugs. "I don't know. My Mom told me about this like this morning too."
I remain silent for awhile. "You think it's too sudden?"
Selena slowly nods. A few times, her face a little bit uncertain. "we haven't practiced...but then I have no doubt doing it with you like- I trust you so much Logan, I don't think we need some practice."
I stare at the blank table in front of me. I still don't get it. This is so not okay, this is too sudden. I can't kiss her just like that, while I have this feeling towards her and she doesn't even know about it.
"You think this is too sudden Loggy? You want me to tell the director that we should do it the next couple of days?" Selena asks me, concerned.
"No, no ,no- it's-it's fine I just-" I reply to her," I just thought you mind about it."
Selena chuckles at that then fork her last bite of pancake. "Nah," she puts the fork into her mouth. "Nof af all."
"What?"
Her finger gestures for me to wait a minute, while she tries to swallow that last bit of pancake in her mouth. "Not at all, Loggy."
Oh. Okay. I need to get used to her foodlena language like seriously. I smile at her and after she drinks her coke, we get back to the shooting area. On our way back Selena jammed to a few songs from the radio, while I just keep myself silent thinking about the scene. I think Selena really doesn't mind-since she feels nothing towards me, and as an actor I totally understand that it's only an act and not a big deal but- It's not gonna be just an act. My feelings are so messed up right now.
As we get back the place is almost ready with the cameras and the lights. Since the shooting is going to take place in just a few more minutes Selena chooses to just wait there, while I tell her that I'm going to the restroom for a minute. Hell I am nervous. Calm down Logan, calm down. It's just a kiss, one fucking kiss. Plus, it's an act. No big deal. It's not Logan and Selena, it's Clay and Hannah. Yeah, it's them, not me and Selena.
After I peed I quickly return to Selena who is sitting alone in a corner. She is looking at the cameras and the crew, yet somehow her eyes are empty. Empty, as if her mind is in another place and not where she's really looking at. It reminds me of our first meeting where she said that she was suicidal. She said she was just kidding, but was she? Or it was just another lie? Really, I don't understand. I don't understand at all, Selena.
"Hey," I knock her shoulder lightly, making her shudder a little. I really didn't mean to surprise her, honestly.
Her face turns into a cheerful one, eyes bright, wide smile. "Hey," she replies weakly.
"You okay?" I have this feeling that she's not but she won't tell me.
"Yeah, totally. Why would you ask that?"
"Well," I say, "you have this expression on your face saying 'help me Logan Lerman is seating next to me and I can't control my inner fangirl'?"
She fusses her eyebrows, "what?" She then lets out a laugh and says, "oh my god Logan, ew, no way."
"Oh come on, admit it fan," I tease her, "here, take a selfie with me. Or would you like my sign? I could give it if you want."
"I'm sorry I need a moment," she raises her pointer in front of me, then act as if she's about to throw up. "I'm sorry I have this weird illness around stupid people."
"Ouch," I say, putting my hand on my chest, "that hurts."
Selena smiles before she laughes again. "Well, who told you to be stupid?"
"Okay, okay," I put my hands in the air, surrenderring. "But seriously though, you really okay?"
Selena's eyes go back to the crew, but not her mind. She looks empty, again. After a whileof not saying anything, she smiles and finally says, "never better."
YOU ARE READING
Starstrucked (Lolena Fanfic)
Romantizm"I think the suicide part suits me the most," Logan has always had a crush on Selena, and he's about to meet her and work in the same movie. But does Selena turn out to be the same person he expected her to be?
