(This'll all just be an amalgamation of Cloud's thoughts as he slowly deteriorates)
Fuck, fuck fuck fuck FUCK!...
I take some deep breaths, in and out..
Will I ever get out of here? I... WHY! WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME!
My blood boils, I don't... I don't want to continue this anymore. I start banging on the locked door until my hand starts going numb. I don't hear any footsteps, I don't hear any talking. Nobody is here.
I drop to the floor.
So fucking draining... I can't even FUCKING SLEEP!
My voice slowly gets louder as I bang the door once more, hoping...
And nobody came.
Wait, let's... Let's think... Right! Mari should've received the letter by now... Aha, ahahahaha... Aha... She should be doing well.. Ernst... Seems reliable after all... Unless... SHIT!... HOW CAN I TRUST THAT MOTHERFUCKER!...
...Those... Shitheads... Fucking lucky I don't have anything sharp enough to... STAY... FUCKING... OPTIMISTIC. Maybe... Maybe if I be good they can let me out... I'll..
I stop dead in my tracks, my thoughts... I... I'd rather forget everything at this point..
But how about Mari? I can't... You can't fucking forget her. Don't pull this shit on me Cloud. We might get out one day.. We WILL GET O-..ut.. How? Are you fucking stupid? Stop... STOP BEING ALL OPTIMISTIC!
I shouted at myself, who was I even... Who am I even talking to at this point?
No... I can go on a hunger strike... Hell yeah! I can... I can force them to let me out!...
I... I try my best to stay optimistic.
But do they really give one single shit about you? If they actually cared about you, you wouldn't be in this prison cell. Right?
He-... I'm.. Right. I breathed in and out in silence.
THEN WHAT DO I FUCKING DO! There's... NOTHING!
I shouted as I trashed the room, throwing around the pillows and the mattress.
There's one thing! End it. And... Take Emilia along with you, if you can find a chance to be alone with her. Kill. Her.
Oh! He-... I'm right! Yes!
Wait... But... What about my... What about my mother? What about Mari? What would they think of ME!?
I shouted at him as tears streamed down his eyes.
And?
He-... I... I laughed... Almost maniacally
Do they... Do they care? Your mother, she left you with this debt that caused all of this. And Mari... Why hasn't she tried to help you?
He-... He was right.
YOU... YOU'RE FUCKING... WRONG! I HID YOU, I HID YOU IN THE DEEPEST HOLE I COULD FIND WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH MARI... AND NOW YOU'RE BACK. YOU FUCKING...
I couldn't accept it. I-.. HE. He is just... Wrong.
You're... Just the worst. I just... I just can't accept it. You're ruining it all. WHAT IF... WHAT IF SHE LET'S ME OUT?
And what if she doesn't?
YOU-... FUCK YOU!
I quickly start slamming my head onto the ground as hard as I can.
Suddenly, I snapped out of it... Maybe because he was taunting me, he wanted me to die. He wanted it all to stop.
I... I got up, picked up the pillow and laid down on the floor.
You won't win this, You won't ruin it. I'll... I'll get out of here. And you'll stay in this cell forever.
So, I have to live through it... I... For Mari right? All for Mari... All... Fuck her. Fuck him. FUCK EVERYONE!
NO! Shit. I'-.. I'll live. I'll persevere. That's... That's who Cloud truly is.
And so, I... "Lived" through... I persevered. At least... He did. He won. I couldn't... He just controlled me. I couldn't beat myself.
