"Absolutely Not."

Chapter 32: Resentment

A/N: sorry for the long delay! life has been hectic and my computer completely kicked the bucket unexpectantly. I've also been writing like four chapters at once, so that also delayed this chapter. hope this chapter makes up for it :) also! all of this is happening on jan 2nd. that... might be important within the next couple of chapters. 

My stomach sank as soon as I stepped out of the infirmary, the thoughts of the conversation I'd just had swirling the pot now brewing in my gut, its ingredients a simmering stew of anxiety and dread.

If only it were lamb stew instead.

I only held grudges for rational reasons, and that was one of them, Price ruining my home-cooked meal that I had just bought the ingredients for.

And now I had to worry if my unchaste carelessness had consequences similar to the one I had back in Russia.

Not entirely unwanted but just... untimely.

Jesus Christ.

Had I really dug myself a bigger hole simply because Simon and I couldn't keep it together? Like a couple of horny teenagers, I wouldn't be surprised if something came about it, a result that I didn't even know if he truly yearned for.

'I'd like to have kids someday...' Simon had said, right?

Maybe, despite all the shit he'd gone through up to this point, he did want the same as me.

I sighed as my feet carried me down the halls, not needing my direction as I knew this place like the back of my hand. Blindfolded or while sleeping, my body knew the way without bumping into a single thing.

While I hoped for a bill of clear health, a piece of me secretly begged for a different result. At least-

No, no.

The timing was wrong.

Manifesting that I'd receive clearance to leave this god damn mission and not for other reasons, I forbade myself from thinking otherwise.

Too much healing, mentally mostly, remained for the both of us, and I'd be damned if we made it worse for ourselves.

A child wouldn't just magically fix us.

Fuck that.

And fuck me (he already did that, I guess) for giving in so easily to old ways.

Thankfully, I didn't have much time to mull over my possibly troublesome situation to the point where my chest would have inevitably gotten tighter as I had arrived at the training facility – a fancy word for the gym – before it worsened.

"Kelsey," Price greeted me as I entered.

I matched his tone but I added a nod to show respect, "Price."

My arms rested behind my back at a relaxed attention once I approached, shoulders slouched with feet apart and parallel.

That resentment mirrored in my stance.

"How'd your exam go?" He asked, arms crossed, a look of genuine attentiveness in his words and it bled into his expression.

I wondered if he felt the slightest amount of guilt for ripping me away from my solace.

"Fine, I think. They sent me here, so I'm assuming I didn't fail automatically."

'There's a chance, though,' a voice in the back of my head murmured.

"Hm," he vocalized with a curt nod, satisfied with my answer. "Alright, then. Let's get started, yeah?"

A test of aptitude followed. Effortlessly, I breezed through multiple suicide drills, pull-ups, pushups, and a timed two-mile run even when my tendons screamed at me the whole time.