Chapter 13: Push

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(a few days later...)


Angled and on one of the highest settings, my legs burned alongside my lungs as I attempted, as I'd done for the last couple of days, for an escape. A means of getting my body back in order while my mind disappeared into focusing on sore muscles. If I were to promise to not hide anymore in the solace of my mountain ranges, then I needed another source of coping.

So, instead of running away, I fed the response by freeing my restraints on either the treadmill set as high as I could manage through the incline and speed or racing Gaz as we practiced with conditioning drills. It kept the need to sneak back to Russia at bay.

My agreement came to fruition in a phone call to Alina, informing her that my stay would be longer than expected. Sat in Price's office, my paperwork neatly stacked on his desk, my less-than-perfect Russian raising his brow as he listened.

'Save some Borscht for me - No, I'm okay - Yes, I'm safe - Are my plants still alive - Did you make the stew? Hope you're well - No, I don't know how long it'll be, but I'll keep you updated. Can you do me one more favor-'

I translated everything once I hung up.

And then the rest fell into place afterward: new phone, gear that fit a lot better than my old (to my dismay), and I signed my life away.

'Kelsey Holland' in black ink, sealed my fate.

Now, I couldn't leave. Well... I technically could, but if I were ever caught again, there'd be no swindling a punishment.

If I actually went through with my offer as bait, my retribution would be paid in full then if Graves finally had his way with me. I'd face the consequences of being a mole.

"Absolutely not," that damn voice rang through my head as I pushed my feet against the treadmill harder. If I wanted to be bait, then damn it, I would do it. He had no say.

"Traitor! Come back here, you little traitor bitch!"

The memory almost tripped me, my lungs practically setting fire to each cilia covering the surface as the voices chased me up the incline. A sound that felt more like a sob than a labored grunt filled the gym.

With me sleeping practically the whole day when I first arrived, I had unintentionally screwed up my sleeping pattern, so the noises of my self-disappointment found no other ears but my own while everyone else slept peacefully in the barracks.

"You're gonna burn just like him!"

My fingers itched to lower the setting as the ghosts of bullets flew past me, Shadows nipping at my ankles. The gravity to preserve my own ass had kept me running from them and kept my arms swinging back and forth beside me as I competed with yesterday's lousy training session.

Soap, Price, and Gaze had all left to meet with Alejandro in a city near Las Almas, their original meeting place rather than what Soap had wanted to change it to, and left me in charge of nothing but improving my skills.

And avoiding Ghost at all costs. I dodged those sniping, brown eyes and maneuvered around his schedule to ensure no run-ins. A creature of habit he'd stayed the past year, and I only caught sight of him from a distance but never up close.

I hadn't visited the kitchen during the night despite needing a cup of tea to calm my nerves, and I sure as hell wasn't going to be late for any meals. He preferred to be one of the last to saunter into the cafeteria; I made sure to be done by then.

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