"Absolutely Not."

Chapter 43: Burdened

One can do a lot of thinking in a hospital bed. Whether it be anxiety stemmed from consequences eating away at their stomach or perhaps the fear of what the future would look like because of said hospital visit, the brain never ceases in the art of worrying.

Regardless, I rotted away in the sterile environment with my insides churning, making me as thought I would upchuck everything with every meal. The concoction of medicines surely didn't help the nausea but neither did all the times I had to have my hand redressed.

With how unlucky I had been throughout the whole mission in getting kidnapped, luck somewhat squeezed itself into the aftermath by giving me a clean abrasion.

I was left with no ring finger, but there would be no need for any more surgeries. 'One and done,' they called it. Thinking that was used more towards having children, I went along with it, letting their medical humor into the mix for some alleviation. At least I had that going for me?

The nurses came and went, and while I knew they were just trying to do their job, I hated all of their questions, especially when they redressed my hand.

How are you feeling today?

How's the head? Any nausea?

Are you hungry? Need more water?

On a level 1-10, how's your pain level?

Do you need more— can I get your— here, let me—

I wanted to scream.

At them. Because of them.

Because of me.

"You have not had a fever in about 24 hours," Aya said as she finished wrapping my hand. The next redressing, she also told me, I'd have to do myself seeing that I would be leaving soon. "Maybe tomorrow the doctor will discuss your discharge?"

I hummed along as my mind wandered elsewhere, dreading the process of learning how to wrap my own wound. I hadn't even properly looked at it yet.

It made me sick just thinking about it.

With my burns years ago, I handled those pretty well, but the thought of something missing from my body that I was never going to get back and have a reminder of every single day, caused my stomach to roll and twist into knots.

The next few words Aya uttered brought my gaze upward to meet her suspicious one. "Your husband visited last night."

My husband?

Any of one those military fuckers would have pretended to be my husband just to get updates and be allowed special visits. And only one of them could truly get away with it. Question was, did he enjoy calling himself my husband?

"Actually he has been visiting for a few nights. While you sleep." She paused before continuing, probably to gauge my reaction. "Just sits there quietly to give you company. He asked for me to not to say anything to you, but I think you would want to know."

I should have been angry.

Upset in some capacity.

Frustrated or hurt that my wishes were ignored and trespassed.

"Is that so?"

Irate or troubled.

Her hands paused slightly after sticking a slab of tape onto my gauze to keep it in place. "If you do not wish for him to return, I will ensure-"

Instead, I was a bit flattered that he'd find some way to see me.

Like a goddamn lunatic.

We were both crazy.