You Deserve it All

Chapter 4

Heyya!

This is being posted a little early, but that's because I will be busy the rest of the weekend and want to get everything out before the end of my lunch break tomorrow since I will not be available until Monday after work. Thanks for being patient the last two weeks.

Enjoy the chapter!

MIDORIYA'S POV

"It's a long flight," Kacchan said as the signs to click our seatbelts in turned off.

"And you had to get us a shared compartment? You really thought I would want to sit by you for 13 hours? Plus, whatever layover time we have. You just kidnapped me."

"You're not a kid, Deku."

I scoffed. "Fine. Then you abducted me. Same thing." As soon as he passes out, I'm going to change my flight back to as soon as I can. Hopefully, it will be the same day because I didn't want to be on this stupid plane to begin with. I want to be at home, lying in my bed.

"Can you shut the door?" I grabbed the door and gently slid it shut. This airline has doors instead of curtains, but they don't go to the ceiling. Anyone walking down the aisle could still see in, but the first class only had ten seats. We would mainly be dealing with the flight attendants.

"Pick a movie." He handed me the remote for the shared screen in front of us.

"Kacchan, I don't want to watch a damn movie. I'm seriously mad at you." I swatted his hand away.

"That's fine," he mumbled, scrolling through our movie selection.

"You don't care that I'm mad at you? This is messed up on so many levels." When he didn't answer, I kept going. "I get that you're mad at me because of how I've been acting and how I'm treating other people. I get it. But Kacchan, I don't want to live right now."

He turned to me quickly. "I'm not mad at you. I'm fucking concerned. I know you don't want to live right now, which is why you're on this plane." His voice was strained and weak. He sounded as broken as I felt. "Every day I walk into your house, I'm praying that you'll still be alive when I find you. The fact that you don't want to live has crossed my mind more than you realize."

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I always get so wrapped up in my own depression that I forget how I make other people feel. I don't want to make him feel like that, but I can't help it. I'm hurting and don't know what to do with that hurt.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled toward my lap.

He handed me the remote. "Pick a movie."

While I scrolled through the movies, he collapsed the small tray between us and shoved it into its compartment before reclining his seat all the way back, essentially turning it into a bed.

I love first-class international flights.

After I put on a random hero movie, I turned the volume on extremely low since the speakers were in the back of the compartment by our ears. Plus, I don't want to piss off the other passengers on a long flight like this.

I leaned back into my seat, but that wasn't enough for Kacchan. He reached over and pressed the button to recline my seat back all the way, matching his.

"About what you said earlier..." Kacchan's voice trailed off. I said many things earlier and have no idea what he's referring to. "I do still love you."

The feeling is mutual, but I can't. I've lost too much and don't want to lose him, either. I would rather he hate me and be alive than us being together and him dying in a year or two. I can't go through it again. I can't.