Castiel was sitting at his desk with a picture of Dean and himself smiling after they went camping for Dean's birthday. Castiel found himself looking at the picture in times of weakness, when he wanted to call Dean. Castiel wanted to see Dean so bad but he couldn't. Dean told him to never contact him again. Dean was always afraid of commitment. Castiel blurred out after one of their hook-ups that he loved the hunter. Dean didn't know how to react since he thought it was only friends with benefits. Dean wanted Castiel in many ways but was scared when he told him that he loved him. Dean quickly got his clothes and through Castiel's clothes at him then kicked him out. Dean quickly closed the door on Castiel and slid down the door and sat on the floor with his head in his hands. He didn't know but Castiel was on the other side doing the same thing. Castiel wanted to open the door and talk to Dean but a piece of him was telling him to stay out. Dean was hoping the ex angel would burst in and get mad at him. That was six months ago, Castiel was in a cheap motel room sitting at the desk holding onto the happy picture of the two of them, wondering if he should pick up the phone and call or listen to the millions of voice mails Dean and Sam left. Castiel didn't have the heart to check them before. Castiel picked up his phone and started to listen to the voice mails.
"Hey Cas it's Sam, call back please"
"Cas, call me please! It's Sam"
"Umm..it's me, Dean. Call back please"
"Cas call me! I'm worried about you. It's Dean"
"Please call me back! I want to know if you're alive man. Come on Cas, it's me, Dean"
"It's Sam again...please call, Dean isn't dealing with this well"
"Cas...you you gotta phone me back...I umm...what's that word...need! yeah! I need you" Dean was sluring like a drunken sailor.
Maybe I should call Sam back and let him know i'm alive, Castiel thought to himself.
"...hello?" Sam answered the phone.
"Hi" Castiel softly said.
"CAS!! What happened??? Where are you??? Are you okay??? Come back!" Sam started shooting questions.
"I'm okay, i'm just sorry Sam. I'm not upset with you. I shouldn't have ignored your calls and messages" Castiel apologized.
"All is forgiven..." Sam said before Dean stole the phone out of his hands.
"Castiel?" Dean softly said carefully. Castiel was stun and didn't know what to say.
"Cas? I know it's you." Dean tried to get him to talk. It was so nice to hear Dean's voice. Castiel wasn't sure what to tell him. "Come on, I know I fucked up. Please talk, I need to hear your voice"
"Dean...I don't know what to say" Castiel barley choked out.
"I understand" Dean took a deep breath then sighed. "Where are you?"
"The motel" Castiel tried to keep himself together by not talking too much.
"Which one? There are many" Dean didn't realize what motel.
"The last time I saw you" Castiel simply said then hung up the phone.
Castiel started to pack up his things to leave. He jumped when he heard the knock on the room.
"It's okay, I don't need anything" Castiel assumed it was the maid.
"Cas, it's me. Let me in" Dean sound rough, like he hasn't slept in days. Castiel kept quiet and opened the door with his suitcase in hand and he tried to get pass Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around him tightly hugging him. Castiel forgot how much he missed Dean's touch and melted into him. Castiel dropped the suitcase and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist.
"Please let me go Dean...I don't want you to hurt me again" Castiel softly said as he remembered the pain Dean caused him. Dean let go of Castiel but softly held Castiel's face.
"That's the last thing I ever wanted" Dean swallowed the ball in his throat. Castiel took Dean's hands and peeled them off.
"I loved you Dean but I was just a toy to you. How many women have you been with in these past six months?? Oh yeah, I don't care! You pushed me to the point where I don't care" Castiel started to cry as he poured out his pain and anger.
"Cas...words can never take back what I did and said but I am sorry. I miss you! I need you! I fucking love you man. Please don't give up on me. Please give me a chance to make it up to you" Dean leaned in closer and brushed the tears off Castiel's face. Castiel closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
"All I wanted was your love but I could only have a small part of you. That hurts. I don't know what's worst, the fact that you broke me or the fact that I still love you" Castiel confessed. Dean stroke Castiel's cheek before he leaned in and kiss him softly. Castiel held the back of Dean's neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
"I will give you another chance" Castiel whispered to the lovestruck hunter.
"Thank you, one more chance is all I need to make it up to you. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you" Dean held Castiel tightly.
-Author's note-
Thanks for reading, the wedding and christmas shots will be posted soon. They need some more work :)
