Chasing The Bad Girl

K18-LM

If there's one thing that I'd really want to feel, that could have been the worst. I am devastated. Totally messed. I don't even know how I managed to look at them. My kids. I have kids.

Nanatili akong nakayuko sa mesa habang pinaglalaruan ang bote ng alak na hawak ko. Paulit-ulit kong minumura ang sarili ko. I don't know what to feel. Pakiramdam ko naparalyze ang buong katawan ko.

As soon as I went out the party's venue, I drove my ass here in this lonely bar. Hindi ito gaya ng iba na maingay at maraming tao. This one is like a normal restaurant. Dito ko nilunod ang buong oras ko sa kakaisip na may anak nga ako. Mga anak.

"Sir, are you okay?" Asked by a waitress. Tumango ako na hindi man lang ito tinapunan ng tingin. I heard her sigh saka ako tumingin dito. I then noticed her uniform and then someone popped in mind.

Samantha.

"I am perfectly fine." I said as if I am addressing it to to the person I am currently thinking. Tumango ito at ngumiti. Even with a dim light, I noticed her cheeks turned red.

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang pagtalikod nito. I smirked bago ko muling tinuon ang sarili ko sa bote na hawak ko.

Even just like that, she can still invade my mind. Kahit sino atang makita ko, it will always remind me of Samantha. I can't believe she had me under her palms right now. I will admit it, knowing that we have children blew it all. Pakiramdam ko natalo na talaga niya ako.

I bet she planned to keep it from me. Hindi na rin ako magugulat kung...kung hindi alam ng mga anak ko na buhay ang daddy nila.

F*ck! This is insane. I am getting insane.

Alam kong akin sila. Alam kong anak ko sila. But damn Samantha! Now I don't even know how to face her. Alam kong sa oras na harapin ko siya ay ipamumukha lang nito kung gaano ako kagago. Not that I really want that but I once thought that it will be better..better that she hates me. But the thought we have children makes it different now.

I am really torn between choices na kahit anong piliin ko, still, I'll end up being the jerk. I will still be miserable. How can I not see this coming? I had planned things to be smooth but looking at the situation right now, I don't think it will come along smoothly lalo na't may mga batang involve.

Napalingon ako dahil sa pagtikhim nang kung sino. Agad umangat ang inis ko nang makita ko kung sino. Hindi na ako nag-atubiling kwelyuhan ito.

"Bakit Kevin?! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin ang tungkol sa mga bata?!! You should have known about them! Dalawang taon ka ng nagtatrabaho sa kanila, pero bakit ni minsan hindi mo binanggit sakin ang tungkol sa kanila?! You were with them in Hawaii, with my kids! Pero hindi mo sinabi!"

"May mababago po ba sir kung sasabihin ko sa inyo?" He asked. I unconciously loosen my grip on his collar.

"Wala hindi ba? Ganun parin. You will  turn them down. You will still push your plans to make them kneel infront of you. Ginawa ko lang ang dapat. Hindi ko sinabi dahil hindi dapat involve ang mga bata dito."

Tuluyan ko na itong binitawan. Everything that Stunner said has hit me. I balled my fist and return to my sit, ignoring his presence.

"You don't understand." The only words I said.

"Ano bang hindi ko maintindihan sa lahat ng gusto mong mangyari? Kung tungkol parin ito sa mommy mo, well I truly doubt na wala silang alam. Ever since I've been working with them, ni minsan hindi ko narinig na binaggit nila si Ma'am Louella. Even Mr. Greg or Ashton. What proof you wanted me to show you so I could convince you to stop this? For once, Luigi, stop this. Ngayong alam mo ng may mga anak kayo, will you please have a heart to just patch things up and forget everything?"