𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄

#.. EIGHTY-THREE

"Jiseok..?" Seungmin's weak voice sounded from the speaker, making Jiseok breathe through in relief. At least he picked up the phone now.

"Oh, my love, how are you? Is everything alright?" Jiseok digged his nails into his thighs as he mentally cursed out the bus for taking so long.

Hyeongjun decided to not join Jiseok after small consideration, perhaps it will turn into something between these two and they'd like to sort it out on their own.

Given the silence, Jiseok figured that something was wrong? But Seungmin would've told him if there was something that bothered him?

"Please, come here... Ji, I need you, please.. I'm sorry I didn't answer it's-" He sobbed and Jiseok's smile dropped.

The boy nodded, knowing that he wouldn't see it anyway. "I'm already on my way. Darling, don't apologize, it's alright. You'll be okay... Come on, take a deep breath."

Seungmin's breaths were shallow and short, they sounded painful. It didn't take long until he broke down again, Jiseok felt his heart rip into a million pieces.

Arriving at his stop, Jiseok hurried out of the bus and started running towards Seungmin's house, that wasn't far from the stop.

Not even a second after ringing the bell, Seungmin opened the door. And fell right into Jiseok's arms after pulling him inside.

He has never seen Seungmin cry that much. Of course, he cried a lot while Jiseok was in the hospital, but that...

  "I don't know what to do!" He cried, grabbing onto Jiseok's shirt like it was the only thing holding him alive. "He's dead!"

Who was dead? Jiseok furrowed his brows. Then it seeped into his mind. Oh. Oh. Jiseok didn't know what to say, just silently patting his boyfriend's back while he cried and cried.

Jiseok guided them both on the floor, sitting down as he figured that it must be too hard for Seungmin to stand. And Seungmin figured that it was time to give more information to Jiseok.

Taking a few deep breaths, he backed away from Jiseok's shoulder in order to wipe his wet cheeks, sniffling once before he started explaining.

"We visited Mom's grave because it- she- she died eleven month ago and it was on that day, the- the eighth and- Dad was like- he was like-"

Seungmin broke down again, starting to cry out loud, putting his hand on his chest, Jiseok could swear that the boy looked like his heart was genuinely ripping.

The elder truly didn't know what to say. He was stunned, too surprised to even say something. So he just pulled Seungmin closer again, offering him a warm embrace as he kissed the top of his head.

It's not like his words would make it any better. Crying helps in situations like these, Jiseok figured, Seungmin needed to let it all out.

Some minutes later, Seungmin felt okay enough to continue. "That evening he- Oh my god, I'm so stupid! He- He told me that no matter what happens, I'll be alright. And he- he told me that he loves me.

I- I wasn't thinking anything because he's- he- he's always telling me how much he loves me. Then I wake up because someone ringed on my door and it's- it's the police.."

Seungmin needed a small break to breathe through. wiping away the never-ending tears. "They said it's- it's about my father.. He jumped down from a bridge right after I fell asleep! It's all my fault! I should've noticed!"

The younger seemed to sink down into the hole of grief even more, genuinely sounding hurt with every cry he let out, with every time he tried to scratch open his arms in distress, starting to draw blood rather fast.

Jiseok quickly held his wrists in his hands, not wanting him to hurt himself. "It's not your fault, darling..." He whispered with his softest voice possible. "How were you supposed to know..?"

He received no answer. Instead, Seungmin just clung onto him tightly again, shaking violently as he used his shoulder to cry on.

"Don't leave me too, please! Please, I need you! Don't leave me now!" Seungmin was in a panic mode.

Jiseok nodded without hesitation, one hand patting the back of Seungmin's head while the other patted his back. "I won't leave you... It's alright, I love you so much."

He kissed his head again, listening to how his sobs started to lessen over the next minutes, until Seungmin fully fell asleep from all the exhaustion.

The elder figured that Seungmin didn't really sleep the last days, hence the big dark circles around his eyes, so he was relieved it happened.

"I'll stand by you" Jiseok whispered into his ear before giving it his best to lie Seungmin down on the couch of his living room.

Lying down next to him, Jiseok pulled the other's body closer, hiding the younger's face in his shoulder as he embraced him, keeping him warm.

It didn't take long for Jiseok to fall asleep in the warmth, as well.