Dear Diary (Harry Potter x reader)

Prologue

Azure and Winter Thorn-Borealis had never truly gotten accustomed to their daughters' illness. Going so far as to hire a maid to focus on the other children so they could tend to her. Whilst their child was sick, they poured their time and money (of which they had quite a bit) into helping her feel better in a desperate attempt to save her, often resulting in the forgetting of their other four daughters. Of course, the four girls had their own way of coping with their sisters Illness, Cassiopeia- the eldest- stopped coming home for the holidays- she had an excuse anyway given she went to school in Russia, diverting most of her time into teenage rebellion, Elmira, the second youngest poured her time into art, focusing on creating nice things to give to her sisters, Elowen, the youngest was a mere baby when her sister got sick, she taught herself to rely more on her sisters then her parents as they were often the most reliable, even teaching herself to be independent so she wouldn't need help. Y/n- the middle child- she was different to her sisters, whilst they grieved, she felt nothing but guilt.

You see, the ill sister, Orchid, was older than her by two years, her illness was rare, something wizard made... sort of. Y/n and Orchid had been playing outside their holiday house, unsupervised as their parents believed that Orchid was old enough to keep an eye on Y/n. However, as they'd played a group of muggle children showed up, Y/n- desperate to make a friend outside of her family invited them to play, the muggles agreed, and the group had begun to play some sort of muggles game. As the game went on Y/n had managed to beat Orchid in... something, she wasn't quite sure what the game was only that she'd apparently won by less than lawful means. Orchid, of course, was furious that Y/n had beaten her by cheating. The issue was- Orchid was a metamorphmagus and the moment she'd gotten angry, her usually H/c hair turned blood red. One of the muggle children had seen this, a young girl, and screamed resulting in the other children seeing and ostracizing her, mocking her for her 'strange hair'. The mocking continued for the rest of the holiday, and as the mocking grew progressively more severe, so did the resentment for her own magic and with it, the illness developing inside her.

So, as Orchid grew sicker, Y/n only felt guilt, after all, this entire thing was her fault. So, instead of finding ways to cope with her own feelings, to help herself stay sane, Y/n poured her time into studying everything she possibly could, trying to find something in any subject whether it be potions, charms, transfiguration, hell even history or music, that could possibly cure her sister. It was the least she could do after all. All this study resulted in her knowing the incantation and wand movement for quite a lot of spells before she'd even received a wand, (it also definitely helped that she was already quite adept with potions) and yet, nothing was enough. No matter what she did, how hard she tried, she knew none of this would be enough to help her sister.

As Orchid neared her 11th birthday the entire family worried, normally witches with her ailment tended to die before their 10th. She was on borrowed time, and everybody knew... except apparently Albus Dumbledore himself, of whom still sent the Hogwarts letter to their family and encouraged them to send her there, despite her illness.

And so, Orchid was sent to Hogwarts, she seemed to be perfectly fine. For a while at least, until that one fateful night, the year Y/n and Elmira were set to turn 11, Elmira had been mauled by a werewolf. Right in front of Y/n and Orchid. That was the hypothetical straw that broke the camel's back, Orchid had succumbed to her illness and a few hours later, passed.

The entire family was sent into mourning, especially Y/n of whom not only was forced to watch both her twin sister and her elder sister die within a few hours of each other but was then forced to feel the emotions of everyone around her, feel their grief, hear their dark thoughts.

It was almost too much to face her 11th birthday without her sister, face the important figures her parents always invited to their children's birthday parties, endure all the celebrations as everyone went back to normal. Forced to act as if nothing had happened at all, she poured her grief into studying, diverting her time into reading, potions making or looking after the many animals that their family owned.

Yet nothing was enough.