*:･ﾟHard To Love ･ﾟ:*

Chapter 15 - she's got you high

SOUSUKE
—❁—

⚘ EARLIER ⚘

The drive to my old home was fairly quick, or felt quick that is. I was eventually welcomed at the door by a Mom with the face of someone who hasn't seen a loved one in weeks.

"Sousuke! My boy, I missed you!" She hugs me tightly in the hallway of our apartment floor before bringing me inside and shutting the door behind me. "I missed you too Mom.. same as this place." I look around to see if anything has drastically changed as I slip my shoes off at the door. "Are you hungry? I made your favorite as soon as I got your call." "I am actually, thank you." I walk to the kitchen and smile, relieved to know that I'll be having a home cooked meal. My first in what feels like forever. "So how is college treating you Sweetie? All is well I hope." I nod and open the refrigerator, skimming for something to drink. "Yeah, it's alright. It's very independent.. but I'm getting the resources I need in order to make something with my life." "I'm glad that you have someone there that you know. I remember when I was in school, I had very few people in my corner. Speaking of.. how is Kou?" My eyebrows softly raise as I push the refrigerator door shut. "He's fine." "Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. You boys haven't been slacking off have you?" I shake my head and walk over to her, observing the progress of the curry in the stove.

Man I love curry, it's both of our favorites. I should make some for Kou sometime..

My eyebrows narrow as I listen to myself thinking in my head. "Enough about me though, how have you been?" I look at her, signaling for me to take over so she can get off her feet. "Thank you Hon." She exhales and puts one of her hands on her shoulders, pressing her fingers into her back shoulder blade. "The hospital has been so busy lately, so I've been taking extra shifts since you aren't living here anymore." She softly smiles. "It keeps me from feeling so lonely." "You really miss me, huh?" "Of course I do, you're my boy. Now what was it that you were wanting to talk to me about?" I softly exhale as I reach over and turn the stove burner off. "Well.. it's—"

With the sound of the pan lid hitting down onto the pan, my mind went blank. Why was I so afraid to ask this? There's so many worst case scenarios that can happen here..

One, Kou could be lying to me and he really could be some creep that only wants me for his disgusting practices.

Two, my mom could hear how insane I sound and totally pull me out of school.

Three, I could learn way too much information about my past and have a changed outlook on everything forever.

Or four.. Kou could be right..

But what would come next?

I softly exhale before putting the wooden spoon I was using down onto a towel on the counter, that way none of the curry sauce on it got anywhere. I then looked over at my Mom with a sigh. "I'm.. not sure how to say this." I bring my hand up, softly scratching my forehead before tucking some of my hair behind my ear. "Go on honey, I'm listening.." She eyes me as I lean against the counter, taking a quick gulp before going on. "I don't know how real this is or not.. but I may be going crazy." I feel my Mom softly put a hand on my arm as I speak. "What makes you say that?" I sigh, shrugging as I look her in the eyes. "Kou.. tells me he knows me from the past, but.." My eyes look away while I bring my thumbnail up into my teeth, softly biting at it before I put my hand up into a sort of shrug and bring it back down again. "I don't remember him. I've never seen him outside of that place."

I look at her, watching as her expression shifts from one of understanding to one of confusion. She then got a look of realization and looked away in what looked to be sorrow and regret.

"What is it?" I softly mutter, immediately think about the worst.

Yeah.. she totally thinks I'm nuts.

Silence grew between us before my Mom spoke again. "Sousuke.. I'm not quite sure how to tell you this." I narrow my eyebrows. "Tell me what?" She begins to shake her head, which only made me worry more. "I was ordered.. not to tell you straight away. We were all worried that restoring your memory early on would've worsened the condition that you were in.." My eyebrows narrow more. "What condition—what are you talking about?" "Sousuke, I.." She goes quiet, which peaks my worry level up and out of the scale. "You got caught up with Kou and his profession at the time.. and it ruined you." "Ruined me?"

What the hell? This was totally unexpected.

"Yes honey.. he told me everything, and I was ordered by his older brother to keep the information away from you for as long as possible. I didn't expect for you two to go to the same college, so I only figured that it would be something that would go away with time." My eyebrows narrow. "Come and sit down with me in the living room and I will explain everything as best as I can." I nod and follow her over to the couch in the living room, trying to disregard my shot nerves. Whatever was about to be laid down on me was going to be a lot.. way too much.

"It was in your second year of Kamome. You met Kou and I remember how much you absolutely adored him. I'm unsure of when exactly the two of you began to go out.. but I rmemeber it was quite quickly after you two first met. The two of you went on until towards the end of the school year after he called it off. It may have been for very serious reasons involving his Father.. and you never found it in yourself to forgive him. I never heard the end of it, but that was until you made it to third year. Your kind had blocked him off up all the way through that point, even though you loathed him for seeing someone new."

I quietly listen to her as I keep my gaze stuck on her eyes. Things were beginning to add up, and that was when I knew it was the real deal.

"You met him again at the school festival during your 4th year, which was when things went absolutely terrible. You were tormented by an evil apparition and Kou agreed to have your memory wiped of any and all memories of him so that you could be freed. The scar you have on your torso is from having a knife drawn through your back in order to contain you in the form that you were turned into.. and that is why you don't remember him."I watch as she silently brings her gaze over to me. "I'm so sorry for keeping everything from you for so long.." I then shook my head and hugged her tightly. "No, thank you so much for telling me. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go chew Kou out on the phone." "You don't want any food?" I softly smile and get up from the couch. "I'll force Kou and his sorry self to drive me back over here." My mom smiles. "Alright honey, I'll see you in a bit, then. This gives me more time to prepare a little more food." "I'll text you when I'm in my way back.. it shouldn't be too long." I walk over to the door and put my shoes on, letting my mom give me one last kiss on the cheek before heading out and angrily taking my phone out.

"You have a lot of explaining to do once we're in the same room." I grip my phone as I push the lobby door open. "What happened?" Kou mutters on his end, confused. "I talked to my Mom, and I'm speechless." "Right.. I can't really say much because I'm on my way to my sisters school. I gotta pick her up and take her home." He was clearly lying, and I could tell in his voice. "Fine. I'm going back to the dorm." I quickly hang up and unlock my car.

I really need to clear my head and get this shit under control. Even if all of this information is 100% true, Kou is a freak and I don't want anything to with him.

As I started the car and left the parking lot, I sighed as my phone began to ring again. Of course it was Kou.. and I knew that if I didn't answer I wouldn't never hear the end of it.

After a heated conversation over the phone, I eventually made it back to the dorm and immediately face planted into my bed.

Just when I think this entire situation can't get anymore stressful, it dips and heads into an even more stressful situation.

Gah.. I'm just ready for all this shit to end.