*:･ﾟHard To Love ･ﾟ:*

CHAPTER 20 - velvet ring

KOU
—❁—

As the two of us kissed I could feel Sousuke lightening up his lips on his end. Once I pulled my lips away from Sousuke, my eyes moved around his face as his arms kept my head close to his.

I had forgotten how much of a great kisser he was, and this whole thing served as an amazing reminder.

I was mainly looking to see if there were any signs of familiarity in his eyes as he stared up at me. The two of us were silent, apart from our soft little pants that were filling the space between us.

"I didn't expect someone as dumpy as you to be that good.." He softly mutters up to me, in return I give him a soft smile back before giving him a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm full of surprises, what can I say?" "Is one of the surprises that you reek? If so, that's a pretty sucky surprise." He smiles and pulls away from me. "Really?" I glance over and lightly sniff my shoulder, pulling my face away as I cringe. "Holy shit—I didn't realize how bad it was." I bunch up a bit of my shirt and bring it up to my nose, taking in another sniff. "Yeah, that's what running surveillance or whatever will do to you. Now go shower so I can keep reading in peace." I smile as he turns and goes back over to his bed. "Alright alright, I won't be gone for hours this time.. probably only half an hour or so." "I'll be here." He glances over at me while he gets comfortable up in his bed before looking down at whatever book it was that he was reading.

I then walked over to my closet and dug out some pajamas so I could head to the bathroom and do my business. I also had some injuries of my own to tend to before actually getting in the shower.

As I was staring into the mirror, I pulled my shirt off and lightly tapped my side. It had taken a beating after I failed to climb a fence and landed straight onto the side of my torso. It wasn't my best display of athleticism, but I somehow didn't get me or Teru caught.

The whole point of the surveillance was so Teru and I had a good idea of where operations with the whole shady league whatever might be going down. It was sort of creepy of us, but we had followed that Natsuhiko guy all the way from the abandoned school building to some even sketchier place that was tucked away in a shady part of town. The whole time we watched him move from one area to another, I had such a horrible feeling in my gut. It may have been either the fact that I knew stalking was totally weird, or that someone was totally watching me.

Either way, I need to get to the bottom of it.. of course, after probably one of the greatest showers of my life.

Afterwards, I walked back out to the main part of the dorm where Sousuke was still sitting on his bed reading that same book that he picked up when I went to the bathroom. I pulled my hair towel away from my head and tossed it into my laundry basket, along the nasty clothes that I got out of and look over at Sousuke as I pushed the basket into my closet with my foot.

Looking at him, I still couldn't believe that we shared our first kiss in his mind. He seemed so totally nonchalant about it that I was starting to question if he even felt anything from it at all.

"What's that you're reading?" I walk over to Sousuke and take a seat on the end of his bed. "Just some random book I snagged from the library.." He shuts the book and looks at me. "It's sort of boring, but it's okay." I look at him and nod.

It still sounded to me like he was a little upset with me, so I felt the need to clarify some things before leaving him alone for the night.

"So.." I clear my throat. "What are we now? After all that I mean—" "Are you asking me if I'd be interested in mutually becoming your boyfriend?" "Uh.. well—yeah, sort of." I softly scratch the back of my head with my fingers before curling them up and fluffing some of my hair. "You know.." He softly sighs and sits up. "I really wish I could say yes, but.." My eyes follow him as he slowly crawls over to me and takes a seat beside me. "I don't think that I'm what is good for you right now." "What do you mean? Are you saying that that kiss didn't really mean anything to you?"He shakes his head. "No, I'm not. I'm just saying—" He then hesitates. "—I just think that.. maybe.." My eyebrows remained narrowed as I listened to him.

"I'm not what's good for you.. right now—" Sousuke awkwardly shifts his eyes around the room before bringing them back onto me again. "Is this because of how I left earlier? Are you still angry about it?" He shakes his head before sighing and looking down. "I'm sorry.." My eyes stay stuck on him as I watch him begin to tear up. "Hey, what's wrong—?" I softly frown and set an arm on his shoulder. He then shakes his head and looks down at his knees, setting the back of his hand on his mouth.

"I'm ruining your life.. I can't.." He mumbles softly into the back of his hand. I felt my eyebrows narrowing more as I set my hand on his back. "Hey, no you aren't.." I turn him towards me and look down at him. "I-I am." His head shakes as he pulls his hand away from his face, looking up at me with two teary eyes. "If it weren't for me, you'd be living a normal life—" He looks away. "—you'd be doing your own thing, a-and you'd be working towards whatever it is that you really want for yourself. From what I know I've done nothing but cause you pain, and you're never been able to live your life the way that you want to." I frown, tucking some of his hair behind his ear to get it out of his face.

This is something that's been bugging Sousuke for a really long time, and it hurts me that he still feels this way even though he's forgotten everything about me from before.

"That's not true, Sousuke. You mean so much to me, and I've never let any of this change the way that I feel about you." I softly bring his face up with his chin before palming either side of it. My thumbs softly moved back and forth beneath his eyes as I wiped them clean. "I am in love with you, and I am destined to be in love with you for the rest of my life. None of this shit is your fault, and I promise you that none of this will ever be your fault." As Sousuke stared up at me, I knew that what was saying was really affecting him.

I knew this because he had begun to bawl his eyes out. I then pulled him in for a hug and held his head close to my chest. He sat there up against me and allowed me to run my fingers through his pink hair, which still left me surprised when I learned that it was natural.

"I just wish that.." He sniffles. "I just wish that I still knew you from before. Y-you just love me so much, and—" "No, hey.." I bring his face up and look down at him again. "We're going to start disregarding the past. I don't want you to let any more of this bullshit get to your head.. so we will start agreeing that we only met at the start of this school year." He softly nods a bit, sniffling once more. "You'll be okay. You should try and get a little bit of sleep now, because I'm sure that you don't want to be all sleepy in class like I am all the time." I smile and pull some of his hair up off of his forehead, placing a soft kiss onto his forehead. As I did so, Sousuke slid his hands up from my hands and down onto my forearms before pulling them away.

After we had both gotten situated in our separate beds, I heard Sousuke turn over and face me. "Kou.." "Hm?" I glance up from my phone and over at his bed. I saw him all curled up underneath his blankets as he looked at me. "I, um—I love you.. I think.." I softly smile at him. "I love ya too 'Suke." Before he turned back over I noticed him get a smile on his face, which was enough to make me feel accomplished. I figured that this was a good spot to leave the night on, so I decided to get some sleep myself as well.

I guess it's official then.. maybe.. the two of us are finally on the right foot?

Or at least the same foot..