[COMPLETED] ENDURING LOVE (JIKOOK)

32; Turbulent Longing

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JUNGKOOK

I wake up this morning feeling drained, like a ship adrift in a stormy sea. My mind is a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions, each one crashing against the shores of my consciousness with relentless force. The events of last night weigh heavily on my heart, the echoes of Jimin's words still ringing in my ears.

As I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I can't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal that gnaws at my insides. Jimin's words pierce through the armour I've carefully constructed around my heart, reopening wounds I thought long healed.

Yes, we slept in different rooms last night. The bitterness in his tone lingers like a bitter aftertaste, a constant reminder of the pain we've both endured.

But beneath the anger and resentment, there's a flicker of something else—something softer, more fragile. Despite everything, I still love him with every fibre of my being. The thought of losing him, of being without him, is a darkness I can't bear to face.

Yet, I know I can't continue to allow him to trample over my feelings, to disregard the vows we've made to each other. I have to stand firm, to show him that love isn't a game, that there are consequences to his actions.

With a heavy sigh, I push myself out of bed and make my way to the kitchen, the weight of the previous night's argument still heavy on my shoulders. I need time to clear my head, to figure out what I want and what's best for us both.

As I prepare breakfast, memories of happier times flood my mind—the laughter we shared, the moments of tenderness and joy. They're like rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds, warming my soul with their gentle embrace.

But alongside those memories, there are cracks in the foundation of our relationship—doubts and insecurities that threaten to tear us apart. If we're going to have any hope of moving forward, we'll need to confront those demons head-on, to rebuild what we've lost.

Sitting down to eat, I can't shake the feeling of uncertainty that clings to me like a second skin. I don't know what the future holds for us, whether we'll be able to overcome our differences and find our way back to each other. 

Finishing my breakfast, I clean up the dishes with a sense of purpose. There's work to be done if we're going to salvage what's left of our relationship.

I can't afford to wallow in self-pity or resentment. I have to be the one to take the first step, to extend the olive branch and show him that I'm willing to forgive and move forward.

Leaving the kitchen, I make my way back to the bedroom, where Jimin still sleeps soundly. Part of me wants to wake him, confront him about last night's argument and lay all our cards on the table.

But another part of me knows that he needs his rest, that pushing him too soon will only drive him further away. Gazing down at him, a wave of tenderness washes over me, softening the hard edges of my resolve.

I want to reach out to him, to hold him close and whisper words of reassurance into his ear. Instead, I sit down on the edge of the bed and watch him sleep, my heart aching with the weight of all we've been through.

And I hate myself for the tiny amount of self-respect I have left in me. Despite how mad I am at him for walking away and shutting me out—definitely not for the first time—I still boiling with the need to touch him and give him all of my love.

I want to give him everything I can...foolishly...

Let's be honest—I'm hard only at the sight of him breathing. And as fucked up as it sounds, I can't help myself when he is the only one that I want, and I need him.