[COMPLETED] ENDURING LOVE (JIKOOK)

34; Love's Redemption

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JUNGKOOK

The air hangs heavy with unresolved tension, each breath laden with unspoken words and shattered promises. In the aftermath of our heated exchange, the silence between us stretches like an unbridgeable chasm, a stark reminder of the irreparable damage that has been done.

But deep down, I know. I know that it is only a matter of forgiving each other. It's about how willing we are to let go of the pain and forgive each other.

But I don't know why I can't bring myself to do that. I can't wrap it around my head—what exactly do I want to hear from him in order to forgive him...

"Hyung..." He breaks the painful silence and I can feel his presence through my back when he closes the distance between us. "Can you at least look at me? ...please?" I can feel him tugging my shirt.

"I want to say that I need space, but I hate that more than anything." Taking a deep breath, I slowly turn around and finally meet his glassy eyes.

I see him briefly close his eyes and take a deep breath—a very shaky one—before meeting my gaze again.

"I know you're sick of it but first of all, I'm sorry. I really am," His lips are trembling from trying to keep his emotions in check. "I don't know what is exactly going on inside your head but please don't push me away...hyung. I was wrong for taking your kindness and patience for granted and unconsciously making you feel unworthy. I was wrong, I admit that. I wouldn't dare to say that I understand you or even understand how painful it was—I could never imagine how painful it actually was for you..."

His eyes slowly fill up with unshed tears and so do mine. I say nothing when I can feel that he still has a lot more to say—so I give him that space.

"I regret it with everything in me for unconsciously making it a habit—walking away when things get tough—and taking your forgiveness for granted. I really regret that, hyung, please believe me. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven after the amount of damage I caused you and I won't blame you either for that," He chokes on his words despite steadily holding eye contact. "I won't question you no matter how you treat me after this—punish me or protect me, I won't say a thing about that..."

"I no longer have the right to question anything—I don't deserve to do that to you anymore. But I will never stop begging for your forgiveness...hyung," He takes a few steps back and gets down on his knees, making me clench my jaw. "You can hate me. You can hurt me to your anger's content. You can do whatever you want to me as long as you forgive me. But please, hyung...I'm begging you, please don't push me away...please don't give up on me...please—....please don't say that this is the end of us...please, hyung...I'm begging you..."

His words break me—as if I'm not broken enough already. My head turns away instantly, refusing to look at him kneeling down before me with his head hanging down low—his tears dripping from his lashes, creating delicate droplets that fall onto his thighs and his fists balled up tightly to the point of his knuckles turn white.

"I don't deserve your love anymore...but please, I beg for your mercy...please give me one last chance...please let me love you for one last time...I can't, hyung...not in my wildest dream I ever dream about living the life without you...please...please, hyung...just one last chance...give me one last chance to treat you properly...to treat you how you deserve...to love you as how you're worth to be loved...I'm begging you for one last chance... to do life with you...My Love..."

His words wash over me like a tidal wave, crashing against the walls I've built around my heart with a force I can't ignore. Despite my best efforts to remain stoic, to hold onto my anger and resentment, I find myself crumbling beneath the weight of his pleas.