I Just Want To Help You

Part Fifteen

Lexa Pov
I stand in the doorway hugging Clarke for what seems like hours. She sets her head in the crook of my neck and I can feel her breathing start to even out. I gently pick her up and she wraps her arms around my neck like she did last night. I lay her back down in my bed. I can't stop the tears that fall down my face watching her sleep. I know it might seem weird but I can't believe she's actually here. My wife's back. The real mother of my children is back. The love of my life is back. The only person I could think about for three years is back and I am so fucking happy and relieved I don't even know what to do with myself.

I know I should go talk to Costia or get the kids up and ready but when Clarke retches out for me in her sleep I can't get my body to do anything but lay down next to her and pull her closer till there's no room between us. And for the first time in three years I feel like I am home even though I never left this house.

I drift of to sleep until I hear little foot steps across the floor. I open my eyes to see Aiden looking at me weirdly. He must be so confused. "What's wrong baby" he doesn't say anything before climbing up in bed and sitting on the side of me Clarke isn't. I comb my fingers through his hair as he stares at the blond sleeping next to us.

After a while he whispers "can I say hi to her" I can't help but raise my eye brows "I remember her and from the pictures and what auntie O and Ray say about her" his little voice is so cute as he struggles to pronounce some of the words but it's also sounds like he's nervous. "What do you remember? Not what auntie O and Ray said but what you remember" I can't believe he actually remembers her.

"You guys used to sing and dance in the kitchen together" tears fall down his face and he stops when I move to wipe them. "A-and she used to make pictures and put them on the walls but then you took them down and she never came b-back" "oh honey" I say as I scoop him up in my arms "and you guys used to call Madi Mads but you stoped when she left. A lot of things stoped when she left" "I didn't think you remembered. I didn't want you to miss something that you might have never been able to get" he looks a little confused but I expected that. He may have a good memory but probably doesn't understand what I am getting at. But one day he will.

Next I see Madi in the door and she smiles when she sees Clarke even though she ain't awake. I never thought they would remember her. Instead of coming over to me like Aiden did she crawls right next to Clarke and let's her little fingers trace the outlines of her face. Madi always did pick Clarke over me and right now I couldn't be happier about it.

I smile and I hear I light laugh come from Aiden when Clarkes nose twitches as Madi goes over it. She slowly opens her eyes and she looks surprised then a little scared but only lets it show in her eyes.  She sits up and leans against the head board like I am and watches our kids eye her curiously. She looks at me with the same look she had when I got shot all those years ago. She's terrified. She grabs my hand and I have a pretty good guess why she so scared but it all washes away when Madi leans forward and wraps her little arms around Clarkes neck while burying her face there as well. It's quite but I here her whisper "thanks for coming back mama"

Me and Clarke both have tears falling down our cheeks after that. Aiden gives me a nervous look but I just give him an encouraging smile and that's enough for him to through himself on his mom too. I sit there happily looking at my family before Aiden leans back over and whispers to me "Costia left" I just nod and give Clarkes hand a squeeze and a small smile before climbing out of bed.

As I walk out of the room I notice all cositas clothes are gone along with one picture of the four of us. She must have packed it up while me and Clarke were sleeping. I feel bad for her but she always knew this was going to happen. Besides that I don't think we were ment for each other and I hope Costia will find a person who makes her feel like she can't breath or live without them like I have with Clarke.