The girl who should've been left at airport security |memoir 1|complete

Having to leave ~ better decisions

I had to move out because the stress was getting to the point where my brain was going to explode like an IED one day if I did not do anything about my living situation. Also, my father deserves better than the living squall at home as well again, the yakuza code of auto place part and my life yet again, and I end up having to move out my father ended up in a nursing home my mother later on ended up in a nursing home, and I used the term mother loosely! As I was going to go I ended up taking my guitar by ukulele by whatever else it makes sounds iPad whatever I needed box clothing under where your name I needed it. It came with me and I went to the place that I'm staying now place I call home the only place I call home actually the group home that I live at I've been said I had to say, some really hard stuff about my mother. That I did not want to have to say, but it had to be said because they needed to know right off the bat.
At first I had to be in quarantine for 14 days COVID-19 outbreak or pandemic. I was way to get a tattoo wanted to get a tattoo but couldn't for the next two years because it was Covid19. It was just 2019 I think after that time when I laughed and got fed up with the toxic stress , by the time I ended up going to the group home I started to decompress, finally started to decompress the pressure cooker. That was my brain.
But for years I would have times where I couldn't sleep at night I couldn't talk about anything but this complete shit so it was kind of aggravating to tell you the truth that this would be on my squirrel for quite some time I was still advocating for my father, was the yakuza code of that I'm belong to it's a call of living that I have to go by or I could get the set with God knows who, so I'd rather just keep my nose clean and follow the yakuza code of honour! And sometimes it gets me into some pretty hairy situation too as I said, the guy from Burkina Faso threatened me with the worst kind of torture imaginable, and I'd rather not think about that. I had to tell when I got back that I could not talk to my mother, because of these death threats I was receiving! Also, they mentioned that they would take legal action against my mother. If she were to talk to me I made it my mission now for her not to go near me on Facebook or anything I should've had no contact order at the time that being said, I wish I still did this, because a lot of ups and downs could've been avoided!
Is living in a forest near a forest in a small town I'm not gonna mention small town it is but Placid peaceful little place where you can actually enjoy life and you can be quiet and not have to worry about Jack shit that being said I was able to do that for the past five years since I was 30 I was able to go and just try to relax and decompress. It was just only recently after the bitchy winter I had that I had to go to Therapy I think things were going ahead at that time anyways, let's just see so I had to move out of my home because of the stress and the safety as you were beginning to be a concern of mine
There was other things that were going on that were quite disturbing my mind. I don't know why it was back there, but there was a lot of things I was having a strange prophecies if you were the end of the world maybe people being kind to each other would be a lot helpful to the world and it would not bring about the end of the world stuff like that. You kind of disturbed me so I could not sleep very much what I have these prophecies!
I would tell you is exactly in my DNA but it would kinda make me look crazy. Let's just say this seyyed! That is what I am or who I am as I am a direct descendant of this particular person. I'm not gonna mention names as this kinda get very controversial but anyways, let's see that's why he was 40 when he became a prophet. I was just when I became a prophet, but I could never tell anyone about my prophecies directly because I was afraid I was gonna be called, crazy So, psychotic looney band or anything for that matter or just fly retarded!
I don't like that word either, but I was afraid of the judgement that Western society has on people like me that we are loony bins Looney, Tex, crazy up the wall wherever you want to say that the psychiatrist has to say that is judgmental. I fucking don't believe in that shit to call someone crazy because I had a very specific message and a dream that's not crazy. That's reality as Tim Burton said one man's crazy is another man's reality. We all have our own reality. This whole planet is a Multiverse if you know what I mean wink wink.
So what the fuck is crazy in my opinion is someone who is a psychopath or a sociopath who feels normal emotions no nothing and have nothing but hatred for society and humans that to me is fucking crazy man lunatic whatever the hell else you can say !
Yes, I do suffer but when I sleep, my brain wanders into the spirit world and it sometimes picks up messages. I don't know if it's occurs or a gift but anyways, it's something that is certainly a pain in my ass. It has subsided lately, but it has been a pain in my arse at the beginning.