The girl who should've been left at airport security |memoir 1|complete

The one shitty winter

The power sweater was a crappy one for many reasons I couldn't go anywhere do anything because I was going to even those anal Nino winter where everything is actually pretty good and not as cold. It was still hair pulling to deal with the idea of the winter I am not a vampire, let's put it that way and I need the dang sunlight in order to function. If I don't have it I am a complete bitch! and that was just what I was this winter was a complete female dog as I was not happy with the weather, and then other things happen that I would say, mitigating circumstances being that I couldn't go out for about 10 days that being said, I wish to tell you about that, but it would be embarrassing a couple of crown, soccer balls, or the devil soccer balls as I call him. I never ended up getting them this time, but it still was aggravating not to be able to go to the mailbox and back and to get some fresh air because everyone had a hunker down. It was a pain my hours because it happened during my boyfriends birthday and that was not my fun part of the winter and I was pulling my hair I remember starting, another symptom of Manol illness where I was threatening yet again about suicide! seemed like this idea of isolation was going to be long lasting and it was going to drive me more more insane it was when I realized when I was over I finally made it through but I was not particularly the same. I was angry and very much so and to the point where I was abusive to the people around me! I was not happy there must've been something that was more in the background. Let's put an app running in the background let's say that was causing me to be like this. I didn't know what to do, but there is still no excuse for that behavior, but there was a source to it, that being said, I was wondering what the hell was going on this was also the time when I started gauging my septum piercing, stretching it if you were to call that that kind of worried, some people a lot of people actually, but it didn't hurt and it healed nicely, but it still was not pleasant. The winter was not my thing I had to find ways to get joy out of things because it was so dark and dismal so I stretched my septum piercing. I did this, I tried everything in my power to stay saying this winter. Sometimes it was insane to go and just wake up in the morning that time of year and say I'd rather not having a stiff bath and some other torture injuries that I had when I was a kid that still pop up from time to time was not my idea of a good time. They are more sensitive during the winter time they are anywhere else because the winter is a pain in my literal pain in my ass, and I usually end up dealing with pain and shoulders, or anything else that is musculature or muscular skeletal that being said, it was kind of interesting to not be able to get out of bed yelling and screaming to get out of bed so people thought I was sleeping but really I was trying to get out of bed, was some other stupid things this winter there was not enough shovelling to do because the snow would again, El Niño I don't like winters because you can't seem to shovel more snow than you can see the grass and it was so deceptive and the idea of no sunlight oh holy hell and no sunlight was getting when things were starting to get lighter later on in the day, I was like oh finally! that said, I did not enjoy having no sunlight. I am to use a happy light from time to time now because of this cruddy winter that just passed it was a real pain in my butt. I would rather not deal with this again, if I can help it, I don't I have to deal with it again because it's winter but it would be a lot easier as, I had other things to do not just shovelling but actual fun things to do that would keep my mind off the boredom and the void of light. It was as if it was a solar eclipse constantly in the middle of the day, even though it wasn't, it was still aggravated in the dark.
Went through the Highpoint of the winter was the actual first birthday I had was my 35th birthday because I was, I said most people with the conditions I have usually adding up  offing them self or hurting of the cell are they doing something that will be reprehensible that being said I haven't done anything like that since I was 20. I was pretty happy about that but I made it to 35 was very interesting indeed the 35 was a milestone for me and a mental health lawyer because I've never made it that far nor do other health warriors make it that far or whatever his name he was still a young guy and he did what he did. That was sad. I find that a lot of good people have been doing that lately when it should not happen even to the worst of the people on the planet, I would not even wish suicide on my bullies or my tormenters in Romania. That being said you can tell that is a mouthful you should do that to yourself I think I only tried it the one time when I was about 20 years old 21 years old and I was very embarrassed about at one point until I saw the; first time on Facebook, and I was like this is an interesting concept, so I ended up drawing more; in my artwork before I ended up, moving to where I am now!   It turned out they would end up on the top two fingers where I didn't have to worry about anything it's I have it in a public place because I use it as a bad honour and say yes I've had a bad experience for life, I try to weasel my way out of it, but I also made it through to be happy in the end or a little bit more decent mood to be exact.