CROSS MY SIN (forgive me please)

ch.12 first step

After working up from the dream with a heavy heart, aching with a pain he had never experienced before. Thoughts of Sahil flooded his mind, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions. It felt as though the entire world was conspiring against him, punishing him for something he couldn't quite grasp.

The memory of that horrific night with the monster left him feeling dirty and disgusted with himself. How could he ever allow himself to feel anything for someone when he was so broken inside?

Unable to face the prospect of seeing Sahil again, Nat decided to text his best friend, Ping, asking him to pick him up in the morning. He couldn't bear the thought of putting himself through the pain of encountering Sahil.

As the morning dragged on and Ping failed to show up on time, Nat's anxiety mounted. Fearing Sahil's arrival, he reluctantly made his way to the bus stop to head to work.

After what felt like an eternity, Nat spotted a car parking outside the ice-cream shop. His heart sank as he recognized it as Sahil's car. But to his surprise, it was Ping who emerged from the vehicle, not Sahil.

Despite knowing that there was nothing romantic between Sahil and Ping, Nat couldn't shake the twinge of jealousy that pricked at his heart. Even more hurtful was the fact that Sahil didn't step out of the car.

Ping approached him, making light-hearted jokes about Nat's supposed jealousy. Nat brushed off the comments, feeling too raw and vulnerable to engage in an argument.

"Never mind," Nat mumbled, just help am out here, there is so much work to do, and your just talking nonsense, Nat said to ping.

Later that evening, Nat couldn't help but notice that Ping seemed unusually restless, fidgeting with his phone and glancing at the clock every few minutes.

"Hey, Ping," Nat said, breaking the silence. "You seem like you're in a hurry. Are you going somewhere?"

Ping looked up, a hint of nervousness flashing across his features before he quickly composed himself. "Oh, uh, no, not really," he replied, his voice slightly strained. "Just have some errands to run, you know how it is."

Nat furrowed his brow, sensing that there was more to Ping's rushed demeanor than he was letting on. But he decided not to press the issue, understanding that everyone had their own reasons for needing space or time alone.

"Okay, no problem," Nat said, trying to sound casual. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

Ping offered a quick nod and a forced smile before hurrying out.

Ping's heart skipped a beat as he approached the place where Sahil had asked to meet him. He could feel the weight of anticipation hanging heavy in the air, his mind racing with thoughts of what Sahil might say or ask.

As Ping spotted Sahil waiting for him, a knot formed in his stomach. He was afraid of the questions Sahil would inevitably pose. How could he possibly keep Nat's secrets hidden from someone as perceptive as Sahil, a psychiatrist trained to uncover truths?

"Hello, Sahil," Ping greeted, trying to keep his voice steady despite the turmoil churning within him. He plastered on a smile, hoping to disguise the unease that threatened to consume him.