CROSS MY SIN (forgive me please)

Ch. 17 please help me

"Oh, Nat, you are glowing, my friend," Ping said, noticing my blush. I shrugged and replied, "Leave me alone, Ping."

We were sitting in the corner of the shop, eating our sandwiches. Ping suddenly mentioned, "You know, I had a talk with Sahil. He actually called me to talk about you."

"What? When? What did he ask about? What did you say? Why are you telling me this just now?" I bombarded my best friend with questions in shock.

"Relax, Nat. It was just an innocent talk. He was very concerned because you ignored him that day," Ping explained, which at least calmed me down a bit.

"What did you talk about?" I asked Ping.

"Don't worry. I know my limits. We've been friends for so long, any of your secrets are safe with me," Ping said, a bit hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that. I know you won't say anything," I said, looking at him with a puppy face. Ping smiled.

"I think he noticed how afraid and insecure you always look. Of course, he's a very brilliant psychologist; it's easy to notice. But all I could say to him is that he just has to give you time."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. "You know, last night I had that nightmare again. I even pushed him, thinking he was the one in my dreams."

"What?" Ping exclaimed.

"I know he had, and still has, a lot of questions after that, but he didn't say anything. Sometimes I ask God why a perfect guy like him would fall in love with a broken guy like me, Ping."

"This is a way God used to answer your prayers. You always wanted to forget that prick who hurt you, and you will as long as you let Sahil in."

I felt so happy having a friend like Ping. We hugged and finished our lunch before continuing with our work.

In the evening, as I was preparing to leave, I saw Sahil coming in with a bouquet of flowers. He looked so ethereal. "Hey, babe," he said, kissing me on the forehead and handing me the flowers. I thanked him.

He waited for me to finish up, and then he drove me to my house. As I was about to open the door, he stopped me and made me look at him. "I miss you," he said, gazing at my lips. My heart started beating fast. I nodded yes, and he crushed his lips against mine. The kiss was so intense; I felt his love as his hand trailed down my neck. Then, his lips left mine and moved to my neck, kissing and biting me gently.

But suddenly, my body started to stumble. The images I had tried so hard to suppress flooded my mind like a flash. My body began to shake uncontrollably, tears falling from my eyes. I pushed him away, still panicking. He immediately hugged me, saying, "Nat, Nat, Nat, baby, it's me. Look at me. It's Sahil. I will never hurt you."

His voice somehow calmed me. I don't know why his touch awakens the demons deep inside me so much, but his voice calms those same demons. How does that happen? Slowly, I turned my face to look at Sahil. I was too ashamed to say anything.

"Are you okay, my love?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Sahil," I said, my voice trembling.

He wanted to say something, but I stopped him by putting my finger on his mouth. "Let me finish," I said.

"I know you have a lot of questions you want to ask me, but I promise I will answer all of them-just not today. Sahil, I love you. I know it, and I can feel it in my heart that I can trust you. I trust you with everything. I will tell you what happened to me that made me like this. I know you're a psychiatrist, and I've seen your profile. You've helped a lot of people, and I need you to help me because I want to love you fully. I want to be able to love you with everything," I said, tears flowing down my cheeks.

He looked at me tenderly and wiped my tears with his hands. "Nathaniel, my love, I understand, and I will not pressure you. You can tell me when you are ready. And please remember, there is nothing in this world that will make me leave you, honey."

He kissed my cheeks and said, "Go inside and get some rest. I love you."

"I love you too," I replied, feeling a bit of peace wash over me.