CROSS MY SIN (forgive me please)

Ch 15. glimpses

As I lay there with Sahil, gazing at the stars, I seemed to forget everything. It was comfortable and relaxing, and all my problems faded away. Though I was feeling cold, I didn't want to let go of his embrace. However, he noticed that I was shivering.

"Let's go inside; it's getting cold," he said to me. Deep down, I wanted to stay like that the whole night, but I knew I would freeze. He helped me up, holding my hand, and led me inside the cabin. As we reached the room, he told me to sleep on the bed while he took the couch. My heart was filled with gratitude that he not only cared for me but also respected my boundaries. If only all men were like him—men who respected people's boundaries and didn't force themselves on others, like that bastard did to me.

While my mind was wandering, I felt Sahil so near to me. His scent was intoxicating, seeping deep into my soul. "Can I kiss you, Nathaniel?" he asked. I was stuck, unsure of what to say, but I really wanted to kiss him. However, I didn't know how, having only been forced to kiss that bastard before. His lips drew closer and closer, and I think he took my silence as a yes.

His lips crushed into mine, soft and gentle. He kissed me with a craving tenderness, as if he was dehydrated and needed my lips like water. Despite my lack of experience, his movements were easy to follow. He kissed me until we were both out of breath. I looked at him shyly. "Thank you. Now go to sleep," he said, tucking me into bed like I was a little baby and kissing me goodnight before laying down on the adjacent couch.

(Sahil's POV)

As I tucked Nathaniel into bed, I went to the couch to sleep, but I couldn't find any rest. My mind kept going back to the kiss—it felt incredible. I've kissed many people before, both guys and girls, but none felt as good as the one with Nathaniel. I noticed he was inexperienced; I think it was his first kiss. However, I didn't want to stop. If it weren't for the fact that I sensed his tension, I wouldn't have let him go.

Suddenly, I heard screams in my head. At first, I thought I was dreaming, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nathaniel tossing and turning in bed, screaming. I rushed to his side, calling his name, trying to wake him up. He woke up abruptly, pushing me away forcefully and shouting, "It was you! Don't touch me!"

I looked at him in horror, asking myself what I had done to him, why he said that, and what he had been dreaming about.

As I sat there, puzzled by the unfolding events, Nathaniel approached and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry, Sahil. Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. I know it wasn't you; you wouldn't do that. I'm so sorry," he pleaded.

"Okay, calm down, Nathaniel. I'm okay. Let's go back to sleep, love," I reassured him. I carried him back to bed, and he whispered, "Please, can you stay, Sahil?"

"Are you okay with that?" I asked. He nodded in agreement, and soon he fell asleep while hugging me.

As Nathaniel slept, I lay awake, unable to stop thinking about his nightmare—the way he shouted, panted, and tossed. It seemed like he was reliving a traumatic event. I wondered what could have happened in his past to cause such a reaction. I didn't want to ask him directly; I felt he wasn't ready. If he wanted to share, he would have already. I looked at the beautiful boy sleeping soundly beside me and whispered, even though I knew he couldn't hear me, "I don't know what happened to you that made you build a shell to protect yourself, but I promise you, my love, I will protect you and help you heal. I love you, Nathaniel." I kissed his forehead and finally fell asleep.