Secrets I Have Held In My Heart

Chapter 70

  "Camilla."

My real name.

How long has it been since I last heard it?

Haring that name from his lips makes my body start to shake. As if taking that name back is a penalty.

  "I have to hand it to you, Camilla. You really know how to disappear. Enzo and the rest of our team have been looking for you for days and to think...I found you here by complete chance."

  "How did you find me, Roman?" I need to stall as long as I can. Auggie is still in the bathroom. Hopefully, Auggieremembers our escape plan and hop out the window and leave me behind as much as I know he doesn't want to.

  "I managed to take half the team down and they retreated once they saw that you...weren't...there. Go figure, huh? I also managed to steal a car. The only reason I was able to find you is because I was your friend, remember? Just had to ask around." He seems happy with himself, cocky as always, and I remember once I even went on a date with this man.

The door opens behind me and I back up, holding my hand out behind me. "Auggie, stay back please." I grab him and hold him close behind me. I am thinking of ways to get out of this and every single one either ends with Auggie getting hurt, with us taken, or with us both dead.

  "Hey, little man." Roman says and I feel Auggie grip my leg tightly, so tight that his little arms are trembling with the amount of power. "My, don't you look just like your daddy."

  "Shut up. Don't fucking speak to him. Don't look at him." I scream.

Roman shows his bloody teeth, saying "I should've known you were going to run." He laughs, pointing the gun at me, and squeezing one eye closed running the gun over the silhouette of my body.

  "Stop." I keep my son behind me the whole time. I'm trying to think of a way to get out. There's the bathroom behind me and the door which he is blocking our way too. This stuffy motel room is tense as we both wait for what's about to happen. I just need to keep him talking.

  "I wonder what Enzo will say when I take you back. How hard I'll punish you. I sent notice that I was on your tail so by now, Enzo knows that I have you and your son."

I turn slightly to face Auggie and he sniffles into my leg, clutching me so tight his little feet tremble now. I know that one day when he's older, he'll probably hate me. He'll look back at this memory and realize that I put us in this position by letting his father back into our lives. I hope that he understands that I did everything in my power to be his mother and keep him close. That every action I took was to save him. I brush his little cheek softly, not knowing that this is another moment I will come to regret.

  "Auggie, run!"

He does what I say, making it to the bathroom and slamming the door closed behind him. I dive towards Roman, managing to knock the gun out of his hands. He regains his balance and lands a punch to my face. I fall back but roll out of the way when he tries to kick me. My movements are fluid and happen without thinking. A perk from being an FBI agent. Probably former now as I'm sure Spencer has called Hotch and told him all about us. I grab a vase at the side table and throw it towards his head but he moves quick enough to miss it.

He grabs the gun and fires at me but I flip across the bed before it can land. The bullet lodges into the stale carpet beneath my feet a few inches from where I stood. I kick him in the stomach to which he falls to the floor, gun flying back and hitting the dresser. Then he tries to punch me in the stomach but I grab his wrist before he can. But he headlocks me. I suddenly throw my head forward, making him loose his grip before throwing it back and breaking his nose with the back of my skull.

As I fumble around for something to hit him with, my hands make contact with it and I grab it, hitting him with the object, the glass shattering from the force and cutting into his face. He screams, giving me enough time to run for the gun. From behind, he barrels into me and my head connects with the wall as he straddles my waist, wrapping his hands around my throat.

  "Now...now I just want you dead." The blood from the cut on his face drips over my face and falls into my eyes. I can't see. I scream, slamming my hands into his stomach but he doesn't concede but I don't either. I knee him and try to roll but he chokes me, banging my head into the ground beneath us.

Stay alive

Stay alive

Stay alive

I choke, scratching his hands, squirming beneath him and trying to reach for something, anything to stop him from killing me. I reach around frantically and manage to pick up a chopstick off the floor from food Auggie and I indulged in earlier. I take the chopsticks in my hand and ram it into one of his open eyes.

The scream that leaves his lips is bloodcurdling but I watch as he falls to his knees, reaching for me but I run out of the way, knocking him in the teeth so hard that he is forced up. I reach for the gun just in time for him to turn and face me. I point it at his head, the dark part of me is on her toes, waiting for me to pull the trigger.

My hands are more steady than my entire body. Sealing my fate, a tear runs down my face and I watch as the bullet lands right between his eyes. It's slow for me. His eyes are wide as they look at me like believe I have. The muzzle is still smoking as I watch his head fling back and his body falls to the floor.

I shake everywhere, rooted in place unable to break myself from it even after I hear Auggie crying. Blood is dripping. Through the open door, I see a shadow emerge and I point the gun towards it, not hesitating this time as the urge to kill makes my fingers twitch. Enzo stands there.

I see Liam and Ray standing behind him with their guns drawn and pointed towards me. Blood, or maybe a tear, falls down my face when I say his name.

  "Auggie, run! Lock the door and run!" I don't move. I keep my gun raised.

  "Put down the gun, Camilla." It is weird to hear him say my name. I shake my head, backing up when he enters deeper into the room. I see his eyes stray to his brother's dead body on the floor before coming back to me. I'm covered in blood and bruises but I will fight him if I have to.

  "I told you to let us go." I whisper solemnly, shaking my head at how stupid the both of us are. I wish I could go back to the emptiness, where I felt nothing for anyone except my son.

  "I would've never stopped, Camilla. Until I got what I wanted."

I know. I know that. I know he would not have stopped searching for me even though I hopped that he would. I don't have anything else to say and I wonder now who will shoot first, which one of us is strong enough to do it?

I hope Auggie has gotten away. I really hope so. Because the bathroom door opens suddenly and I turn around to see Alexi with a gun in one of his hands and no August. I feel the pain in the back of my head worsen when I also feel the cold metal of a gun barrel press against it.

  "Enzo, please."

I am at a loss for the first time when he points a gun to my head. I can't help but think over my life, the things I've done, people I've let back into my life and my son's, all of it. I think of August and where he is right now, if he actually got away or they killed him. Or maybe they were kind enough to just put him in the back of their cars and double lock the doors. I think of myself when I was a kid.

Enzo puts his gun away just as I am pulled away and a hod is thrown over my head.