Secrets I Have Held In My Heart

Chapter 51

As Roman drops me off, I give him a kiss on the cheek as he leads me to the door and makes sure I'm in before driving off.

  "Hi, honey." Spencer says. Al the humor and amusement is stripped from his voice as he speaks and it sends chills down my spine. He harshly plucks a petal from my bouquet of flowers that I hold in my arms, rolling it up between his fingers before letting it fall to the floor.

  "Okay..." I say, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

  "I hope for future reference he knows you hate Italian." he says and my eyes widen.

  "How could you-"

  "180 IQ remember? Also, I remember everything?"

  "Well, I've changed." I say, placing my new vase on Spencer's kitchen counter.

  "You sure have, Cami."

That's it. I grab his arm and drag him to his bedroom. I let go once we cross the doorway and I shove him a little.

  "What the fuck are you doing?"

Spencer casually leans against his bureau, one ankle crossed over the other, his hands behind him as they brace his body against the furniture. I watch as his tongue runs along his top teeth.

He's finding this funny.

  "Roman seems nice." He shrugs.

  "Shut up." I mutter, more than done with his shit. "What are you doing? Who are you?"

He completely disregards my questions.

  "Pretty sure that's considered cheating."

I grimace, my face screwing up as I scoff. "You sound jealous, Spence." I say, rolling my lip into my mouth. "I know you wish that was you, right?"

It catches him off guard and he shakes his head, shrugging. "Nope."

  "You're such an awful liar." I say and he pushes himself off the bureau to take a few steps towards me. I'm just watching him as he closes the small distance between us, looking me up and down.

I can feel the warmth of his body he's that close. His hands fall onto my waist and he's turning me around, gently pressing me up against the closed door of his bedroom. I'm having to suck in a deep breath for composure and Spencer seems pleased with my reaction.

  "You seem threatened by Roman." I quietly say, acknowledging this stupid behavior.

He scoffs, shaking his head. His eyes stay on mine though. "Threatened of what?" He whispers, dragging his fingers down my face, gently rubbing his knuckles across my jaw. "I think you and I both know that can fuck you like nothing you've had before." He whispers, his eyes scanning my face for the slightest of reaction. "You'll come running back..." I watch as he leans closer to me and I don't move away. "baby." and I almost feel my knees buckle beneath me.

  "Yeah?" I croak, which I'm not proud of, my self control seriously lacking. "And why will I come running back exactly?"

He hums before I feel his lips against my neck. I bite my bottom lip, my eyes falling shut.

  "I don't like to say this but...you obviously like to be treated like a slut. You like it rough. You really think he'll be able to do that? To treat you like that?" He whispers between kisses he's leaving up my neck and across my jaw. My hands rest on his waist and when he reaches my chin, he hovers by my lips.

I never thought that Spencer Reid, the same Spencer who was afraid to touch women and got embarrassed when that actress asked to have a sip of his soda years ago, is now telling me how he thinks I like to be fucked by him. And he's not wrong.

I open my eyes and I'm greeted by Spencer's eyes, pupils blown from lust and maybe some anger. His breath fans my face as he speaks a mere few millimeters from my lips.

  "I doubt he even knows where the clit is. I've read enough books in my early twenty's to know and have it memorized, c'mon sweetheart did you really think you could do better?"

Sweetheart.

Who is this Spencer Reid.

I kissed him for the last time days ago. That was the last time and it won't happen again.

But then he moves closer still and I instantly want to cave. I feel my heart racing. A shiver runs down my spine. I have the urge to touch him, too.

But I can't. I won't.

I swallow before saying, "He's nice."

Spencer scoffs and shakes his head again. "You don't want nice, do you though? You wouldn't be here with me, would you?"

  "But you are nice."

  "I am nice. Most of the time."

  "I'm only here to tell you to stop." I say, my mouth feeling dry.

He shrugs his shoulders but doesn't back away from me. "Then tell me to stop. Give me your worst." he says quietly, his breath fanning over my face and sends shocks through my body.

  "Stop it." I say, and he just smirks at me. "I like him. We're not romantically anything."

He hums to himself before his hand comes up to cup my cheek. My breath hitches in my throat when he moves closer until his lips are grazing mine. He doesn't make a move to kiss me though. We just heavily breathe. But I don't kiss him and he's pulling away after a minute or two.

  "I'm not going to kiss you." He whispers, moving back. "As much as I want to kiss you right now and have sex with you in my bathroom like the last time, I won't."

I hold my breath as his words have my skin on fire. The thought of having him right now is really appealing.