Retribution

A Powerful Force

   Everyone was too drunk that night to notice Sadie being touchy or us looking at each other. I wondered what the next day would hold though, when we were all sober, Sadie included. Would Sadie still be so bold? Would I?

   I woke up to a kiss on my forehead. I looked up to see my beautiful brown eyed woman looking back at me. She smiled, holding a cup of coffee. "Mornin" she smirked. "Morning" I smiled adoringly. "Some welcome last night" I said. "Yeah, seems they were happy with us... well, with the money" Sadie shrugged.

   There was a blood curdling scream from Mary-Beth. Sadie's eyes widened, as did mine. She immediately got up, unholstering her gun. I got up, threw on my clothes, and equipped mine as well, following her. Then, I saw what she was screaming about. Kieran.

   His headless body on a horse, striding into camp. The O'Driscoll's. I looked at Sadie, she was in a defensive pose. Her legs far apart and both revolvers equipped. She knew who did it and was ready for action. I knew what the O'Driscoll's did to her... to her life. What I didn't know was how unraveled she became when she was around them.

   Dutch yelled, as they rode into our camp, shooting up the place. Everything happened so fast. I stayed and shot for a while but soon we were getting overrun and Dutch yelled for everyone to get inside. So, I did. I lost track of Sadie in all of the commotion but I assumed she ran inside with all of us.

   When I got inside, I saw everyone scrambling and getting into position. I yelled Sadie's name over and over but she didn't call back. "Where's Sadie?" I asked Karen. "I don't know" she said, in a hurry. "Where's Sadie?" I asked. No response from anyone. "Goddamn it! Where is Sadie?!?" I yelled.

   "I don't know my child. Get into position!" Dutch ordered. I continued to search and take cover, as the place became a battle ground. Then that's when I heard her screaming. Both a terrifying and comforting sound. It told me she was alive but that she was in danger.

   Arthur shot out of the window at the men in the back yard. He looked at me when he heard her. He nodded. I kicked the back door down and he and I came charging outside to find her. We shot through about 10 or 12 men until I saw her. I ran over to help her. There was blood all over her body.

   Then that's when I realized, she didn't need help and that her scream wasn't one of danger but of anger... and the blood wasn't hers. It was theirs. She had one of them by the neck, pinned against the shed and she stuck her knife into his neck and twisted it. My eyes grew wide.

   I had never seen her like this before. She normally fought with her revolvers but this time she used a knife. It was deeply personal, the way she killed them. Arthur tried to get her to go with us into the house but she was having none of it. She wanted their blood. She wanted them dead. So, we followed her and we took on the rest of the men. We must've killed 40 more men collectively, the three of us.

   After they started retreating and running into the woods, Sadie started chasing them. That's when I jumped into action. I grabbed her and held her back in my arms. She screamed, a haunting and terrifying sound to my ears. It took all of my strength to hold her back. She was strong and her blood was boiling (which made her even stronger than normal).

   Everyone met out front. I held Sadie in my arms as she fell to her knees. She became limp in my arms. I got down on the ground with her. She just stared off to where they ran off to. I let her go. She got up and rubbed the blood off her face and without a word, and walked to the front where everyone was.

   I followed behind her. They cheered her on for being such a good fighter, Charles, Arthur, and I as well. She wasn't in a celebratory mood, though. I saw it all over her. Their blood on her body, symbolizing her pain and anger.

   Everyone cleaned up. Charles, Karen and Javier went to bury Kieran. I looked over at the scout campfire and saw her. I had given her some space, while I was helping the others with the cleanup. She had a moment to reflect. I decided I would go sit with her.

   I sat next to her on a log. I didn't say a word, just offered my presence. She was still covered in blood, and staring at the fire. "I will kill every last one of them" she said. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. I expected her to talk about her husband... maybe about Kieran even but not what she said.

   I realized how real this was for her. I realized how revenge driven she was. She was seeking a solace, justice... peace for what she and her husband went through. I couldn't imagine... and of course, she never got to have closure, of course she wanted that. In her head, this was how she was going to get it.

   I've been in that situation before. Revenge... was never the answer but you can't tell someone that. It's something that must be experienced to be understood. Unfortunately her path to healing was a lot longer than I realized.

   She wasn't done being angry. She was right that night when she said it was consuming her. I could see it. I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and hold her but I knew she wasn't in the right space for that. She was like a rose. Beautiful in every way... but she had thorns on the outside. You couldn't just hold her.

   That's not how she worked. You had to admire her. She wasn't something to be plucked but rather something to admire and I realized that quickly. We sat in silence for a good while. That's when I grabbed her hand gently. I rubbed my thumb across the back of it.

   She snapped out of her trance, looking down and our hands. I held her hand tighter, not saying a word. That's when I saw it. A single tear making it's way down her face. I didn't know what for. For her husband, the anger she was feeling, that was consuming her, was it guilt?

   Again, I am not a woman who offers up words of comfort that mean nothing, so I didn't. It's not what someone needs to hear. Sometimes they just need you, rather than empty words. Soon it was nighttime. I got up and offered my hand to her. "Come on" I said.

   She looked up at me, she looked lost. That was the only way I could describe the look on her face. She grabbed my hand, without a word. I led her over to the wash bin. I had her sit down, I took a cloth and washed off the blood from her skin. I thought she'd protest but she let me do that for her.

   When I was done washing her skin, I grabbed a bucket and some soap. I took her hand and led her around the back of the house. I washed her hair. It had blood all through it. Then I took her hand and led her back to the tent.

   She stood there, still with the lost look on her face. I took the towel and I towel dried her hair a bit, then I brushed and braided it. I turned to face her. She looked up at me. I caressed her face with my hand and half smiled at her. I think it comforted her because she leaned into my touch and closed her eyes as I rubbed her cheek.

   I then grabbed her hands and stood her up. I unbuttoned her shirt, removing her brassiere. Then I unbuttoned her pants, pulling them down, then her underwear. She stepped out of them, standing before me, naked. All the blood was off her body at last.

   I then got into her chest, grabbing her night clothes, and slipping them on her. She looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes. This time they had pain in them. I could tell she was feeling more than anger now and slipping into another emotion entirely. That's what her anger was motivated by anyways, pain.

   I kissed her forehead. We didn't speak a word. Then, I took her into my arms and held her. She leaned her head on my chest, as we stood there. I rubbed her back and caressed her head. She had so many emotions coursing through her, that none came out. She was hollow. Numb. I kissed her head.

   I got up and climbed into my bed. She laid there, looking at me. "I want you" She said. I just looked at her. "Come here" She said, voice almost a whisper. So, I did. I came over to her and I held her in my arms. It was cramped but I was next to her and she found comfort in that.

   That's where we fell asleep that night, in each others arms, on her cot. There were so many sides to Sadie, many I had not even gotten to see yet. Like today. Today didn't scare me. She didn't scare me. I knew how she felt. I knew why she felt like that. I understood her.

   It's easy for an outsider to call her unhinged or impulsive... but they didn't understand her the way I did. I knew all of her actions had a purpose. She was driven by a powerful force. Some call it love... but I knew it as pain. In her case, that's what love had done to her.