Doctor Annabelle (GxG)

Part 26

VALENTINA

I woke up in my room. I looked around the darkness and tried to move but I couldn't find it in me to even reach out the switch so close to me. I felt numb and I felt everything all at once

Who is there at your lowest?

I sighed rubbing my face to keep the thoughts away. These inner thoughts haunted me. They liked to play with sanity

Gosh you are so annoying. Who wants a broken psychotic mess?

"Dr Annabelle does" I mumbled pushing my knees to my chest

Where is she?

She is probably done with you

She saw your scars

You know how disgusting you look?

She was horny enough to fuck that

I covered my eyes whimpering at the insults. It was almost funny how I was so scared of myself. They were dangers in the world, people got killed. Rapists, murderers and Impulsive assholes with psychotic issues so close but they never scared me. I killed a man before

But me

I'm so self destructive and violent. I am the only one who is capable to destroy myself and it scares me that I can't control myself

Look at the nightmares that haunts you

Where you are!!!

Your parents never wanted you

You are nothing but a psychotic mess

And you know that you will never stop hurting

So why not just shut it all down

I opened my eyes and looked around to destruct myself but I knew it was all true

I was nothing

I meant nothing

Pathetic

Broken

Unwanted

Stupid

Worthless

Worthless

WORTHLESS!!

My mind kept going and going and I shook grabbing the blankets to keep myself seated. I thought I was getting better. Dr Annabelle...

She is gonna reject you if she sees how broken you still are

"No, she will fix me"

Take a look at yourself, you think you need fixing?

You can save her time and trouble by disappearing

If your parents never wanted you, why would she

Tears fell down my cheeks. I was broken beyond repair, why would she want someone who will breakdown out of the blue like a broken car. She would get tired of me. She will realize I can't be fixed then pass me to another therapist

She will put me on pills. They never help anything. I was just a crazy wrecked up doll she tried putting back together without reading its dead inside

I cried, screaming in the pillow. My chest felt heavy and hollow I just wanted it all to stop. To not be hurting anymore. To have a good day, to like myself. To shut my mind down and feel anything but pain