Ludo
We may not be speaking at the moment but I have to admit Ro has performed a miracle pulling this place together. It's amazing how an idea and a few sketches turned into this, it's surreal seeing the last 20 odd years of my profession life on display. The memories flood back, some great some life-changing. I'm embarrassed to admit the section that documents our success in the early 2000s is like a strange looks into someone else's life. I had been on that many drugs Im not sure how I functioned and now all these years later I still have 4 years of memories that are missing. I look at the outfits and I find it hard to believe that I had agreed to wear them, I really must have been off my face. I would never agree to wear a white leather suit complete with tassels, spurrs and a cowboy hat but the photos prove I did.
My life has changed dramatically, I broke my legs when I climbed up the lights rig during a heroin binge and fell hard on the stage. That wasn't enough to convince me that I needed an intervention, I only reduced my drug intake because I was living with my mom and dad while I recovered and I couldn't get my hands on it. Even the prescription pills were out of my reach, my body had ached for months as my body adapted to the change. I must have been a nightmare but my parents looked after me all the same with very little complaints. I had promised mom I wouldn't touch hard drugs again and would attend rehab and I did. I smoke weed now and up until a few years ago I would partake in a line or two of coke when I partied but I never touched meth or heroin again.
The late 90s section is a wonder, I remember each record, each gig and every interview like they were yesterday. We were new fresh faced pretty boys who no one took seriously. We worked hard but partied harder, for two years we had to work 9-5 jobs to keep a float and keep the band going. I remember having to pay venues to let us play, it seemed like an impossible dream. Ark knew we would make it big, he told everyone we were the next motley crue. We played because we loved it, we didnt care about the money or the fame we lived for the music. The girls that came in the process was a bonus.
The memorial wall for Ark is all I have left to view, I know this will be painful. There's a photo of ark and me sat on our bikes outside my dad's barber shop, arks black hair is neat and my blonde curls are already at my shoulders. I remember my parents arguing over my hair, mom refused to let my dad cut it. In mom's words "it's a sin to cut such beautiful curls,he's like one of god's angels". Dad's response was always the same "he looks like a girl". There are photos of our first gig with our old band Black blood, God awful name. We have been so bad the audience chased us off the stage, the good thing about that night is we met Robbii and formed a band with him. Chad joined a year later, we only agreed to let him join because his dad said we could practice in the garage. it's odd looking back at these small life events that have changed my life.
I still, the photo that takes my attention is a concert five years ago in LA, were back stage posing with a pink vixen and a shy blonde who had no reason being at a hard rock show. I laugh as I look at her yellow leather jacket, I can't take my eyes off her. I couldn't take my eyes off her back then either. Rose had taken my breath away from the moment I saw here, there was something so hopeful in her. I cant explain it but she awakened something in me that I didn't know existed.
Flashback
It's too crowded here, Ive told the guys before not to invite this many people back stage. I hate it, it stinks and it's hot plus the fans can be annoying as hell. After a show I want to decompress with a drink and a joint I don't want to be squashed like a sardine sharing alcohol with strangers.
Maggie brings in two girls and my mood immediately picks up, I can only see them from behind but I can tell they're hot. Ones slim with spiky pink hair and the other is blonde. The blonde perks my Interest immediately, she playing with her hands nervously. The other girl can't stand still she's stoked to be here but her friends acting like she's been dragged along. The blonde is introduced as Rose a competition winner, when she turns I drop my beer. Light surrounds her framing her face, it's like I'm looking at a real-life angel. I take her in head to toe, she's perfect. I can't say she's anything like the other girls I've been with, she seems upright, prissy even. It becomes very clear that she isn't a fan, she's not star struck like her friend. Rose tells us she's enjoyed the show but doesn't offer up much more than that
"Maggie, what's her story"
Our manager looks over at the girls and points at the one with the pink hair " that's Dianne her sister won the competition, she's a huge fan"
I shake my head, "no rose the blonde, what's her story"
"Don't go there, she's here for ark"
"What do you mean she's here for him"
"He fabricated the competition so he could spend time with her"
I run my hands through my hair, this makes pursuing her more difficult. Ark and I have a long-standing rule that we won't steal or scare girls. We learnt the hard way that it causes issues.
"So they're dating or what, do I have a chance"
Maggie sighs "they have met before, he really likes her ludo. For the sake of the band she needs to be off limits"
"Fuck the band, I need to meet her"
"Ludo he likes her you know how rare that is for him. Promise me that you won't make a move on her"
"Mmm"
"Ludo I mean it, he really likes here" she points her finger in my face before walking away
"Problem is I love her "
