Break ups are hard but when both parties are in the public eye it makes the whole thing 10 times harder. There's been interest and speculation in why our relationship ended ever since the night of Ethan's premiere. It's been years now but I'm still surprised when I see my name mentioned by the press, I still feel like the unknown girl I use to be.
Life has been rough for the past few weeks but it hasn't been anything like you see in the films, my rock bottom wasn't me drinking in my underwear until I passed out. I've kept myself busy with grueling , I've worked out every day. I'm skinny , I look more like the size zero models I see in magazines every day. My curves are almost non existent, my mom worries I'm too slim but I am eating I'm just exercising a lot.
I've also spent time travelling, I've been to England to visit Richard and I've been to Paris. I keep myself busy I find it helps me to keep my mind off the imploding disaster that is my life.
I knew I cared for ludo, loved him even but I didn't realise how much. Whenever I have time to think I find my mind being consumed by him, by his scent, his smile, his touch, I miss him more than words can say. Sometimes I chastise myself for not just agreeing to his future plans but deep down I know he was unfair to make those decisions without me. Making a home together and starting a family are life changing decisions that I should be a part of. I tried for weeks to speak to ludo in the hopes we could reconcile but it quickly became clear that he didn't want that. He blocked my calls and moved out of his Malibu home so I had no idea where I could find him. I even tried emailing him, that's how desperate I was. Not surprisingly I didn't get a reply.
Things got harder when I saw photos of ludo with a young blonde draped in his arms, by the time I scrolled to the photos of them kissing I was a blubbering mess. I felt betrayed even though I had no right to. I was jealous that was for sure. It had been those photos that had prompted me to pack a suitcase and head to my florida, I needed to go where I could hide from the press and would not have Ludos happy life rubbed in my face.
My Grampa was happy to see me at his retirement home, he had no idea about my break up or the drama that is my life. He's just happy that he gets to spend some time with his granddaughter.
............
"Why are you wearing a disguise, your not in the FBI are you" Grampa jokes, it's not the first time he's commented about my oversized glasses and baseball hat.
"I just don't want to get recognised"
He looks sceptical but doesn't argue, "so you and the musician broke up"
I had hoped he wouldn't mention ludo, it's difficult having to tell people what happened. Some people agree with me while others understand his point of view.
"So I'm guessing you need cheering up. Waterpark or Disney world"
I roll my eyes "I don't think so"
"it worked when you were 10"
"How about we go see a show, it gives me a chance to wear my suit. I only get to wear it at funerals" he stops as he realises the last time he had worn it was at my husband's funeral.
"Sounds good, should I book. What do you want to see"
"Something funny, I think we could both do with a laugh"
I look online and find a comedy show that includes dinner. Grampa looks excited, I think it will be good for him to get out too. From what I can gather he spends most of his time at the bar or sporting events. I feel bad that I've never had him come stay with me in LA, I have to remedy that. He will love the house,I imagine he would spend every minute in the pool or at the beach. Who am I kidding, he will want to be at the beach bar soaking up the sun while drinking beer.
"Do you want to come back to LA and stay with me for a while" I ask before I can't talk myself out of it
"Finally,I thought you would never ask"
