Ludos pov
I wasn't sure if I had said that aloud but when Ros head whipped back that quick she got whiplash I knew I had. It was difficult seeing her with the singer, it was worse watching her leave with him knowing what they were going to do. It had been hard watching my best friend fall in love with her when deep down I loved her too. I loved her from the first time I looked at her backstage, I can still recall what she was wearing. Initially I had thought Ark would tire of her like the others and then I could pursue her but That didn't happen. Ark had loved her so much that he missed a gig in Vegas to bring her along. I had thought as the days and weeks passed that I would eventually get my chance.
I pinned for her, I thought it was my deep secret but it seems it was obvious to everyone even Ark. Ro took my flirting and affection as friendship and to this day doesn't know how I felt, how I still feel. The guilt I feel consumed me, I knew back then that I would've betrayed Ark and risk our lifelong relationship for her. Ro is the only woman other than my mom who I have ever loved. Ark knew early on, he saw the longing in my eyes, he would make backhanded comments and we fought a little but I deserved worse. Near the end when he was dying he had given me his blessing to pursue her after his death. I told him he was crazy that I didn't love Ro, that I would never date his wife. I had lied to him and he saw straight through it. I had been so embarrassed when he spoke about it I would argue with him, I would be so mad.
I can't say that I wished I had met her before Ark because she made his final year's happy and that's worth the suffering I went through. I do wish I didn't love her, I have tried to distance myself from her but that doesn't make it any easier. Now with the museum opening weeks away I will be seeing her more often, I couldn't stand to watching her date or worse fall in love with someone else.
I know what people will think of me, I can only imagine how hard the press will go after me but I need to act now before it's too late. I deserve a shot at true love.
