My Happy Accident

30

I turned to the next page, anticipating Ella's head-over-heels in love phase with me. 

Dear Diary,

It's our wedding day. I feel like my knees are literally trembling with the thought of getting married today.

I somehow thought about getting married, but I never thought it would be with a goddess.
 
Everyone's fidgetting, and I was having a cold sweat when there was a sudden silence. I faced the door, witnessing my bride in a white, elegant dress in her father's arms.

The music played, and they started walking towards me.

Some people say the world seems to go in slow motion when you stare at the one you love. It didn't work with me because I looked at Margarett, and everything went fast forward. I seemed to see our future together.

Her father walking her down the aisle and giving her to me felt surreal. If I could freeze and rewind time, I would forever relive the first time I laid eyes on her.

The ceremony started, and I couldn't really help but stare at my bride's lovely face. Her beauty is ethereal, and being with her takes me to a different dimension. 

We've exchanged our vows.

Mine went, "I vow to deeply love you with all tenderness. To be someone who's going to take your breath away and also the one who will remind you to breathe. I vow to take care of you, to love you, and to be your peace for the rest of my days."

I've never meant anything in my life more than those words.

I was excited to hear Margarrett's vows. My eyes never left hers while she spoke.

"I vow to always hold you close to my heart, to always choose you despite all odds, and to share this life with you until the last beat of my heart."

I plastered a smile on my face while looking at her. Trying to pretend it didn't hurt. The way she turned to Deanna after saying those words. 

I saw not a single hint of happiness in her eyes when she got married to me. Even at our reception, I would always catch her eyes fixed on Deanna. I know her parents confronted her for it, which ruined her mood even worse. 

It was supposed to be our honeymoon, but here I am spilling my thoughts on you, Diary. My wife just told me we were just married on paper and nothing more, so she's not obliged to do any wife duties towards me. 

Despite this, I am going to make sure to show her every day how much I love her. She doesn't have to return any of it, but I hope she'll just let me be.

It's just the third entry in her diary, and I'm already feeling the weight in her chest. Maybe I'll skip the part where I just let her look like a fool while I'm being all sweet and loving to Deanna.

I turned the pages of her diary, not knowing what to anticipate. After what felt like eternity, I found the part where she had written the day of my accident.

Dear Diary,

I asked Margarett to have a date with me. After more than a year of our marriage, she still despised me.

The rage in her eyes whenever she looks at me. Her thoughts are obviously flying to Deanna, and her heart I will never have a space in. Deanna is so lucky to have this girl fall in love with her. I couldn't even get her to care for me. 

But anyway, I got her her favorite flowers. Sunflowers. I always do, and I always will, for my favorite person.

I know Margarrett is more than willing to leave me. I reckon she's going to trade anything for it. 

She said she's going to her Ate Dori for a little catching up. I don't exactly believe that because my friends told me they've seen her and Deanna literally anywhere.

I decided to follow her, and I'm not even surprised. I know I agreed to keep it casual between us, but still, it hurts like hell.

I tried to dial her number several times, and I also saw her ignore all of it as I was watching her make love with the person who holds her heart from my car.

I don't think I even crossed her mind today. It's now dark, and I'm guessing it's about to rain for a while. I started driving back to avoid my car getting seen and recognized by her.

I was heading home in tears and had nothing on my mind. I can at least say I was utterly lost. I just got past an intersection when I heard a loud crash from afar. 

I immediately turned around when I saw a car totaled by a truck. My body almost froze when I recognized the car that was totally wrecked. It was Margarrett's.

I dialed my dad's number so he could send immediate assistance. I ran towards Margarrett. She was luckily thrown out of her car because of an impact, but she's definitely in a bad state. She's soaking up her own blood. Almost unrecognizable.

She has a pulse but is too weak, so I performed CPR.

The ambulance arrived, and it felt like forever. They took Margarrett with them, and I was left there, sitting on the highway.

I was in deep shock and fear. I couldn't help but blame myself for what happened to her.

Had I not agreed to that stupid marriage, she would not have ended up in this situation. She would not have been sneaking out to see Deanna and drive this dark, rainy night.

I could now clearly recall how she kissed me that day. How excited she was to give me those flowers and how she genuinely said she loved me before I went to Deanna's place. I don't think I can forgive myself for everything, especially making Ella blame herself for something she's not responsible for.