Start over | Kim Seungmin

From: Kim Seungmin

Ahn Y/n,

I don't even know why I still talk to you anymore, I don't even know why I still look for your attention, I don't even know why I care about you.

Oh right.

I guess I just grew attached?

Y/n, when we were little, I used to bug you everyday right? And ever since then I never left you alone, I have to admit I was found of watching you grow up with me...

You-- in my eyes, are smart, talented, funny, and nice... Just, a bit defenseless and vulnerable.

I don't know how to say sorry because well... I don't even know if you still remember in the first place.

Do you remember, Y/n?

I made fun of you for crying because I accidentally splashed paint all over your favorite dress.

I made fun of you because you wouldn't smile.

I told everyone you had difficulty speaking and made people think you were weird.

Even made your friends get bored of you.

You aren't weird Y/n.

Please don't hate me...

Do you, Y/n?

I am so sorry, I apologize for every humiliation I put on you.

I think you deserve an apology.

Do you forgive me, Y/n?

I can't just let you go.

But...

I am not sure if that's possible.

You are the only one I could trust, I could have fun with, I could be myself with.

I don't know, I guess there's just something in you that makes me feel like that.

You deserve a hundred friends for that, and I have stopped you from it. I am a shitty person am I?

I already know that.

God damn it I'm just so sorry... Thinking back to the things I've done just makes me feel so ass. But I can't just tell you this.

I just can't. I don't want to cry in front of you. I can't just tell you straight up I'm sorry, is it greed? Is it my big ego?

I suppose it is.

I guess I've said enough, feels good to get this out of my chest. But I will still have to talk to you about it. We only have one grade left.

I want to fix this...

Can we start over?