Start over | Kim Seungmin

15: Freaky Friday

"Shh... Shh..." Youngjae comforts you for the umpteenth time, caressing your hair with 'no strings attached' he reassures you when you vented to him with full hostility a few days before. Ever since a week ago, you've been crying on his shoulder every break during school, it was as if the rude and intimidating Youngjae you knew wasn't him.

He would observe you-- almost admiring you as you cry, but he wouldn't have romantic feelings for you when he already had the 'it girl' of his grade, right? You didn't know anymore, you couldn't care anymore, you were just too blissful about the fact someone wanted to stick with you.

Now here you are, (unintentionally) skipping English class and going to the school rooftop because Youngjae took your phone so you could concentrate on your venting and not check the time. Where did the punctual and hard-working Y/n that Seungmin, Eunjin, and your parents once know? "I'm sorry, I'm blabbering again, right?" You sniffled through the cries with an awkward smile, looking up at the boy smiling at you, quite cutely... 

He reaches his hand to your cheeks to gently wipe your tears away, letting the water soak through his buttery skin and splash down to the concrete floor which was heating due to the emerging summer season. "You weren't, you were just talking your feelings out, don't worry about it." He shook his head as he dismissed your guilt with a gentle voice, making you chuckle in relief. "Here," he smiles, offering you a cigar, you didn't realize he was still forcing flavor from the stick.

Your smile fades hesitantly as you look up and sit up from his chest, then look down at the risk you'll take if you accept them. Even if your mother did drink frequently-- which was double the toxicity level, you were always against smoking, even at the most pressured time in middle school when you had to light your classmates' cigars and yours, you rejected.

But when you're face-to-face with the coolest guy who also cares-- even catering to your feelings and offering you a cigar, do you take it?

"Do you have a light?" You took the ashy stick and held it in between your teeth with a chuckle, a part of your heart feeling disappointed in yourself-- but you didn't care. After all, you never got to have fun ever since you started to grow up, and no one will care, no one ever does, right?

"Just as I expected from you..." Youngjae smirks in satisfaction from your compliance, lighting it for you, the wheel turned quickly from his thumb's flick, and the flame touched the cigar. Your heart, however, was thumping rapidly, you could feel the rapid beating in your ears and making your nervous stomach churn deeper. 'No one will care, no one will care...' You remind yourself in the back of your mind, you came to believe that no one will pay attention to you, and no one will tell you off. Even though your morals and ideology are against your actions.

Anything, to make that one person who seems to be by your side, justifying and defending you even when you're too stubborn to realize that you were also in the wrong, a person who makes you feel special, feel good. You'd do anything, anything to make them like you and stay by you.

Seungmin's account

It's been a week-- weeks, since I stopped walking behind or yet beside Y/n, all because I had yet been too scared to take accountability in fear I would suffer way too many consequences, and that my parents would have more negative attributes from their only son. And another boy has come to her mind, it seems. But what can I do about it? Because after all, I'm all too cowardly to win her forgiveness.

It's just the regular Friday again, two more hours of having to distance myself from people just because I don't find interest in the same lousy and ignorant personalities that they all owned. I missed her, I missed her attention, and I even missed how her smile gifted me relief that I made someone so pure happy.

"Fuck..." I sighed as english class finally ended and the bell rang, but unlike everyone who immediately rushed out for the cafeteria, I had chosen to stay seated in the classroom, resting my head on the top of my wrists. I looked to the side, staring at the empty seat beside me which Y/n used to sit. But didn't, where was she? But why do I have to care?

"Hey, Seungmin." Eunjin knocked the door and I turned to her voice, her hands was holding two lunch boxes, certainly made by her mother since I couldn't get myself to eat. She was waiting for me to join her, because I had no one else to accompany...

I nodded and pressed the ground with my foot and forced a smile as we both walked together, I took the bag and listened to her talk, my head low on the ground with a soft sigh again.

"A-and it's like as if he lost interest in me already? Like I don't even see him around anymore." The taller girl complains about her boyfriend, whom I quite disliked. I looked up at her, wanting to say something myself but hesitated to, maybe it was better that I stay quiet.

She looks down at me and pauses, before she looked away and inhaled. "You know, you can speak, right? Anything." She reassures, without hesitation, my mind started drifting to Y/n...

"... I think Y/n has been skipping classes as well..." I murmured nervously, knowing Eunjin didn't like it when someone doubts the younger girl. She hummed, but stayed quiet, as if thinking about something. And I stood by her with inferiority, I didn't like this. I didn't like feeling weak and all hesitant...

I hate being seen like this, seeing people like this...

"Let's eat at the rooftop, seems like you're bored eating with me at the cafeteria table." Eunjin suggested, in which I just shrugged, following her upup to the stairs.

Author's note
I'm back (ᗒᗩᗕ) hope I didn't disappoint you all with my new writing style but I thank the longgg long break I had spent my studies on and improving my literature skills (≧∇≦). Thank you for all the support you guys have given to me in the variations of chapters! Luv luvv

- Saturnxneptune