You Had Me at Merlot [ Chaennie ]

Chapter 5: How Do You Feel About Lingerie?

Roseanne stood in her darkened apartment in front of the large picture window facing the river and replayed every moment of her evening spent with Jennie. She admitted to herself that the date had far exceeded her already hopeful expectations. Jennie, who made her toes curl and her stomach flutter, was smart, witty, down-to-earth, and thoughtful. When was the last time she'd run into that combination? Jennie had also been the perfect conversationalist and dinner companion. The kiss she'd run back for had proven incredibly satisfying, inspiring daydreams about what would have happened if they hadn't said good night and Jennie had come home with her. Would she have pulled Jennie into her lap and slid her hands up her thighs, inching higher and higher until she took what she wanted?

After such a fantastic night, why was Roseanne now clutching a glass of ice water with a needle threaded with dread moving through her midsection? She knew why. She hadn't been forthcoming with Jennie at all about who she was, her job, or what brought her into Bordeauxnuts to begin with. It had been fantasyland tonight on their date, which allowed her to pretend none of those factors existed. She got a taste of what she and Jennie might be like together, and now she couldn't erase that knowledge. But this scenario had her waiting for the other shoe to drop. What was going to happen to them when it did? Would Jennie blame her for Livingston's decision to open a store in Chelsea? It was entirely possible. Would she be furious Roseanne had sidestepped important details about her job when directly asked? She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose because who wouldn't be? She'd gone about this all wrong. Everything was out of order. Dammit. Now what was she supposed to do? Upend it all before it even had a chance to get going?

As she thought through the situation, it almost felt wrong to allow herself to enjoy the memory of Jennie's smile, the sparks that flew when their gazes connected, or the kiss that had rocked her fully—because it hadn't been earned. None of it was rightfully hers, and that hurt. She'd been dishonest, and now it colored everything like black paint tossed on a beautiful painting.

Roseanne now knew she should have never asked Jennie out without supplying her with all the pertinent details. That was on her. She slid her fingers into her hair and gripped, angry at herself and grieving.

The fact of the matter was that she had to come clean and soon. She got ready for bed, selecting her satin shorts set because the soft fabric against her skin felt like the pampering her soul needed. If only it had helped. She slipped beneath the cool sheets and stared at the shadow shifting on her ceiling for what felt like hours. Sleep was not to be. All was not right in the world, and Roseanne had to fix it. The stakes were too high. Her heart was already hoping, reaching.

When she arrived at her office in midtown at quarter to eight the next morning, her plan was to lose herself in numbers and notes until she could summon the courage to swing by the bar and see Jennie before the evening traffic picked up. Maybe they could steal a glass of wine together and have an honest and important conversation. Roseanne would come clean and apologize, and hope Jennie would understand.

When five o'clock rolled around, Roseanne gave her shoulders a roll and stopped at Ashley's desk on her way to do what she should have from day one.

"I'm gonna take off for the day."

"You're early. This is nice. You're trying for a life and are to be commended."

Roseanne offered a curtsey. "Trying. There's a woman I can't stop thinking about, and I have to go see what I can do about making sure she doesn't hate me."

Ashley's fingers went still on her keyboard. "What a weird sentence. Do you want to rewind? Why might she hate you?"

Roseanne, needing to hear the story out loud for clarity, recalled all that had happened with Jennie up until this point. "So I'm headed over there now."

"Wow." Ashley offered up a Snickers from her desk. "You might need this for later. Put it in your bag."

"Recovery chocolate?" She deflated. "You don't think this ends well for me, do you?"

"Rosie, I'm gonna hope it does, but she needs to know the truth and fast. Strong, awesome women like straight shooters. You're going to have some ground to make up. And rightfully so," Ashley said with a small glare. "Now go make it right, and next time consult me about this kind of thing."

"I hear you. I will." Roseanne sighed. Ashley's outrage was telling and warranted. She'd screwed this up and knew it.

Along the way to the bar, she stopped at a sidewalk flower sale and picked out a single long-stemmed rose for Jennie. Nervous energy bounced from her head to her toes, and when she rounded the corner to Bordeauxnuts, she found Jennie clicking off a call in front of the storefront. Roseanne paused, holding the rose and waiting for Jennie to look up from her phone. When she did, Roseanne watched her whole body relax and a smile blossom. She was everything. It was dusk, and the light was fading fast, but Roseanne took a moment to memorize Jennie, haloed by the oranges and pinks of the setting sun. Roseanne opened her mouth to speak just as Jennie burst into tears.

"Oh no," Roseanne said, letting the rose fall to the side as she moved to Jennie. "I hope I didn't do that."

With a hand to her forehead, Jennie seemed to surrender to the emotion and allowed her face to crumple and tears to fall. Roseanne guided her to a bench a few yards away, her own heart tugging. She couldn't stand to see the anguish on Jennie's face.

"Not you," Jennie whispered through the emotion.

Roseanne instantly took her hand and held on. "Well, I don't know what I walked up on, but I'm here. We can just sit together." Jennie nodded, the emotion seemingly stealing her voice. A siren wailed in the distance. Pedestrians passed by on the sidewalk as rush hour ramped up to a roar. Through it all, Roseanne refused to let go. Occasionally, she'd rub Jennie's arm or toss out an encouraging few words. "You're gonna be okay. I got you."

Eventually, Jennie took an extra-deep breath and turned to Roseanne. "This was embarrassing."

With her thumb, Roseanne dried Jennie's tears. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about," she said quietly. "Just me here."

A soft smile touched Jennie's lips. "That's true. Hi."

"Hi. Want to talk about it or no?"

"I'm very close with my parents. My dad's been moving a little slower these days, but we all just thought age."

"Is there more?"

Jennie nodded. "He's been struggling with catching his breath more than normal and went in a few weeks ago. They found a spot on his lung that the doctor didn't like the look of, and now the biopsy is back." She lifted her shoulders and let them drop. "It's bad news."