Emails

Chapter 38 | 2 months ago

Liv.

2 months ago.

Sam asked me if we could meet up.

To talk.

I agreed.

We agreed to meet at the coast near the water, about thirty minutes away from school.

And I wondered if that was a mistake.

+++++

I asked my mom if I could borrow the car. She didn't even glance up at me. Kept staring at the documents as if they would break her. She nodded. Didn't say a word. I left.

The car groaned and stalled. I frowned. It never did that.

It was a mistake.

+++++

I arrived ten minutes early. Sam was already there, sitting on the hood of his car. The car that we joked about being a monkey in its past life.

I stopped the car.

Opened the door.

Walked out.

He jumped off his hood,

held out his arms.

I fell into them, already feeling the tears at the front of my eyes.

Asked,

"What are we going to do?"

He kissed me not like the first time,

but like the last time.

Of everything.

Then he pulled away and said,

"I don't know."

+++++

I fiddled with my jacket. He fiddled with his. The sun as already starting to set. Almost.

We both blurted out at the same time,

"I'm sorry-"

"Where were you-"

We laughed awkwardly.

I tried to smile, my eyes puffy from before. "How are you, Sam?"

He laughed. "It's been a couple of weeks."

"Question's still on the table."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Fine, how 'bout you?"

"Fine."

Silence was gnawing at my ears.

I relented. "I'm sorry I wasn't here the past week."

"Where were you-"

"Let's not talk about this." I grinned, buoyant about the next topic. "I got an interview for an intern position at the corporate law company down the street," I said hopefully.

His eyes widened. He was a little bit more happy than before. "Really, Liv? That's great!"

I stared at my lap, still smiling. "Yeah, I know."

He stiffened. "Is that what you've been doing all week?"

I stiffened too, my shoulders erect. "No."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" He rushed to say. I smiled sadly.

I shrugged. "It's fine. Just the usual now."

I took a deep breath. "My parents are splitting up. Couldn't deal anymore. Things just finally hit the roof."

He inhaled a deep breath too. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay." I laughed. "This is what it's going to be now anyways."

He tried to hug me, I shrugged his arms off.

"What are we doing here, Sam?" I asked. "I know it's not because you wanted to talk about me."

He laughed. "I don't know, maybe? I wanted to see how you were. And..." He swallowed, his Adam's Apple bobbing. "And to see if we should be doing this." he finished quietly.

I stared at my feet swinging back and forth, hitting his cars front. We were sitting on the hood. I didn't say anything.

He nodded to himself. "That's what I thought."

I swallowed. "look, I'm sorry I got us into this. Maybe-"

"Maybe we should take a break."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Silence.

"Let's not think about this." He tried to smile again. "Let's have fun."

I forced a laugh. "Yeah? What fun?"

We could have fun so we could forget about losing each other.

We could forget that everything fell to the floor.

It was gone.

It got bulldozed by a truck and collapsed by a wrecking ball.

He hopped off our seating spot. Walked to the edge of the coast. "Let's jump." He hollered.

I laughed. "No, Sam. That's crazy. We could die." But I was already thinking, why the hell not?

I ran to meet him.

We jumped.

Let's have fun.

And we did. So much fun that we almost died.

Have fun, have fun.

4:53 pm.

The view of the land was gone.

A/N:

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