It was around mid june I believe
I was working on my health and I was off the internet
It was a nice day
I had stopped running due to my legs hurting
The app I used was to help with enlightenment and simulation/asmr
You put it on and you walked and you might see something
And honestly I sort of did and then I saw him outside
The weather was bristling and it had a breeze to it
The trees dancing in the air
It was before anyone knew me
The greenery around me
And it was a quiet time when I was thinking
Now when I think about it it was a happier day
Full of people around it had rained a bit and it was reminding me of milton keynes
There were barely any chattering it was soundless
And tranquil
Picturesque views on the walk and I got to the stop at a light post and he announced he was there
It felt like i'd found the person who had a lot to say
But he was a gentlemen and asked me on a date
It was a peaceful day and he'd said this was calculated I just saw you outside a lot and wanted to talk
The air smelled like soil and it was very timelessness
Completely void of stress
I was 19
And was he
He told me his birthday was coming up and for me a virgo that felt heart warming
But it begs the question me being disturbed on my walk
Was it a foretelling of my future of not being able to sleep right
Just when I found the weather I loved outside because I was hurting
Did that mean he would disturb me for the rest of my existence
The answer is I thought about it
Around that time
Even then it plagued me
He said I had a very symmetrical face
To me that was not a red flag but it should have been
Heart red glasses I always wore them after on my wish purchases that got obsessive// no tax
He taxed me emotionally after that
My ears screaming right now in my psych stay
I loved his face sure
But did it mean I loved him to the core
Nej
I had a feeling of remorse for him
Like he was trying his best to appear innocent
I suppose at that age you're always trying to find your one true pair
Your next love
I think because I left someone behind it felt like we understood eachother on that aspect
But ghost of lovers never let you go
He was one of my ex's i'd forgotten about
But he looked familiar enough
In the profile
And he answered honestly
I actually got harmed by my head that year too
And I used lush sea salt scrub to get rid of it and I dyed my hair red
I was bored but maybe it shows how easy it is to change your appearance from stress of a small apartment or perhaps small minded people
I suppose he went fishing and found someone to be with
Over the pond where no one would hear me scream
Or maybe my ex husband would
Infidelity only feels wrong when you have a ring but I did not
So it was a feeling of daydreaming
And perhaps I had a meeting with him in a restaurant where he wanted to break up for real
And I was so angry about doing it in my favourite restaurant and he had called me out way more than I had but I sort of grew up and realised how toxic he had been
Anyway me being out that day was purely instinctive like i knew he was there
Out in johan collets plass
It was very honest conversation
There was a beginning and there was loss
Days apart
I had a breakup
Then \i found someone new
It felt like my dating life felt ok like God had intended it
And honestly he probably did
You meet people from your past lives continuously throughout your years on earth and heaven
The soul never forgets the dna aspect of finding someone familiar
I suppose my antipsychotics got the best of me that year or maybe I wanted to forget him
