My Book of Poems

MBP: Unhappy

"Unhappy"

I'm unhappy, unhappy with my life
A life so dull makes me want to die
So unhappy, I don't feel a thing
My mind is so troubled by something
I can't escape, the life I had is suffocating
It's very suffocating, I want to escape it
But I can't do it

Many times I tried to gaslight myself
Think of all the happy moments
But after a minute it ends
I thought I can be happy
But lying with myself makes me evil
The darkness that occupied the half of me is so scary
A little push can make me go crazy

I tried my best to be the best
I failed a lot of times and it made me think
I am no longer me, I'm starting to be a beast
The best who turned to beast is so creepy
I want to escape the claws of a devil that strangles me
But I can't, I'm so close of running away
I'm so close to be freed again but I got swallowed by the darkness within me

I'm unhappy, unhappy with my present state
I got so emotional easily
I got angry and pissed
But still, my eyes is too dry to cry a single tear
I may look kinda numb
But the feeling inside me is pulling me down
The emotion I have is killing me softly
I can't escape the devil's trap
It's hunting me everyday

I guess my faith is not that strong
I get easily tempted by the demon's apple
The growling noises that pierces my ears
It hurts like hell but no one notice
My mouth is so dry to let out a word
Too lazy to even move
I'm getting crazy of thinking about the possibilities
All possibilities that can't guarantee a win
I'm getting tired of everything

From being unhappy to continuously feeling lonely
I'm scared, so scared of the fact that I can't do a thing
My mind is not functioning because of the unending debates
Too noisy to my ears and too blinding to see
Unhappy, I'm so unhappy
Hoping that this feeling will end soon
I wanted to escape the trap and live once more
But maybe in my next life
I hope I won't be unhappy in that life