LANA MASON
Nothing has been the same since Allison went to confess her apparent remaining love for Harry and her apparent dislike for me. She decided to take him up on his advice to spend more time with Jane, therefore cutting my time with Jane. In the big picture, I'm mature enough to understand how important that is and the positive effect it will have on Jane's relationship with her. In my head, I'm pissed because it doesn't seem genuine. It seems like she wants to spend more time with Jane simply because that means I have less time with Jane and that seems to be a pattern with Allison. She's selfish.
Another new addition to the mix is my constant stomach ache and borderline crippling anxiety that I feel just about every second of every day now. It's been about two weeks since the whole event happened and Harry is still treating me the same way by sending good morning texts and asking me to come over, but I don't know. When I'm not with him, I worry that he's thinking about Allison and how maybe getting back together would be the best thing for their family. I'm so terrified for that to be the case and I wonder if that makes me selfish.
So, now that Allison stopped working on the weekends, I no longer have to go to watch Jane on Saturdays or Sundays anymore. Harry is at the restaurant, Maya is having dinner with her parents and grandparents, and Jackie is in Oyster Bay for a weekend shoot. I ordered a whole pizza from across the street so I can eat my feelings and wallow without having a real reason to wallow at all. I still have a boyfriend who tells me he loves me every day and I'm still Jane's nanny. I have no right to be so upset, but I am anyway.
I'm still trying to decide what to watch on Netflix to kill time before Harry comes over when my phone starts vibrating somewhere on the couch. I look to my left and right and see it wedged between the couch cushions, so I dig it out with my hand not holding a giant slice of pepperoni pizza. It's my dad, which is odd considering we're still in a fight.
"Hello?"
Immediately, I hear cars honking and know that he's outside, but there is no traffic on his street or anywhere he typically goes in and around Brooklyn.
"Hey."
I stay quiet and have another bite, unsure if now is the best time for us to be speaking for the first time since our argument. I'm in a terrible mood already.
"Lana?"
I open my mouth to snap and ask him what he wants, but stop myself to take a breath first. "Yeah?"
"Oh, I thought I lost you," his voice is muffled by the wind. It's supposed to storm tonight. "Are you at home?"
My brows twitch together as I instinctively look over at the windows by my bed. "Are you in the city?"
"Yeah. Your mom said you would be home."
Annoyingly enough, my heart instantly begins to soften. If there's anything my dad hates, it's the commute to Manhattan when he has no reason to come over here. Once every couple of months he'll take my mom to a nice restaurant in the city, but other than that, he very much enjoys living in suburbia with his group of friends, his favorite sports bar, and my mom. That's all he needs.
"I'm home."
"Well, can we talk?"
I look at the ceiling in exasperation still. I'd have to be the devil himself if I refused after he came all this way when he very well could have waited for me to be the first to make a move to apologize. He's usually much too stubborn to do it himself.
"Sure," I'm about to take another bite when the screen by my door lights up and chimes as he requests entry. "You're already here?"
"Yeah."
