HARRY STYLES
Now more than I ever have, and more than I'm sure I ever will, I feel like Santa Claus himself as I pack Jane's Christmas presents in a large duffle bag to take to Allison's flat in SoHo. They're already in Tribeca at her parents' place, but Jane will likely be asleep by the time Allison takes her home tonight, so she won't notice the addition of gifts until Christmas morning. Naturally, her first thought will be that Santa came down the faux chimney in the living room to deliver her toys.
I've always enjoyed the holidays more since having a child to bring the magic back into the institution, but I still wish things were different this year. Then again, last Christmas might have been the worst I've ever had in my 27 years. Not only did Allison and I have a screaming match after her company's Christmas party and I suspected that something was going on with Brad, which turned out to be completely true, but Jane had a terrible flu and was vomiting and crying her eyes out all night and day. That meant Allison and I hardly slept, which made our attitudes worse. It was like I knew my family was slipping away and everything was about to fall apart before it happened, and that was the one time I wish I could have been proven to be wrong.
At least Allison and I are on speaking terms and at least we've come to an agreement that results in both of us spending time with Jane for Christmas, but I'm not looking forward to going home and spending Christmas Eve without Lana. Truthfully, I think I seriously would have been fine if was simply alone with no prospects or a woman I was pining after. I'd be a bit sad, sure, but I'd most likely be focusing on work and I'd know how to keep myself busy. It's different now that I'm missing someone specific and wishing, more than anything, that she was the person I was going home to at the end of the night that hasn't even come yet.
It's only been a week, but things have been better between us since the case ended. I think she feels relieved that she no longer has to be held responsible for the reason I couldn't see Jane during that time, despite me never placing the blame directly on her. Maya and Jackie have both told me on separate occasions that she's doing even better than she already was right before the judge decided on even joint custody. I'm happy to hear that, but I'm hoping that doesn't mean she's getting over me. God knows I'm not getting over her.
With Jane's gifts secured under the tree, accompanied by a cursive note from Santa praising her good behavior this year, I call for an Uber to take me to Tribeca. I let Allison know that I'm on my way so she can warn her parents, though I don't think it'll make a difference. I've already decided that I'm going to be on my absolute best behavior for Jane's sake and that I won't give Cindy and Tom the satisfaction of seeing me snap. They'd be all too happy to call me out and tell me that's why I shouldn't have custody of Jane.
As I approach the first gate to the building, the concierge inside opens it for me so quickly that I don't have to stop walking at all. I follow the winding path between the lush faux green grass until he automatically opens the doors to get into the building for me as well. He asks me what my business is at the building today, so I give him Tom and Cindy's names along with my own. He has to call them to make sure that I really know them, which just goes to show how often I step foot inside this luxury hell hole.
"Go ahead," he gestures to the hallway on the right of the front desk and explains that the elevator is around the corner.
Breathing deeply, I ride all the way to the top and remind myself why I'm going to be gracious today. I'm genuinely excited to see Jane, so that helps, and I'm curious to see how Allison is going to treat me. The nicer she is, the more hopeful I am that she might reach out to Lana herself and tell her she can start dating me again if she wants to. That might be reaching, but a boy can dream too, can't he?
