LANA MASON
Ever since my sickness from hell ended, which turned out to be pregnancy-induced, I didn't feel pregnant until I realized my hunger levels were changing from my previous normal. However, now that I'm nearly three months along, it's safe to say I'm feeling a bit different.
It's not like I have a massive bowling ball for a belly yet or anything, but my jeans are officially uncomfortably tight and I think I've gone up maybe half a cup size or so. My skin, on the other hand, is glowing and I physically feel better than I thought I would. From what I understand after all my research, that's going to change soon enough, but I'm not mad about how I'm doing right now.
"When will it move?" Maya asks, sitting on the couch with me while we wait for Harry to come meet me for my doctor's appointment. "When will you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I think they can technically move around twelve weeks, but most women won't feel it until 16 weeks or later, and I'm not sure when I'll be able to find out the gender, but I can ask the doctor today."
"How many weeks are you?"
"Um...like, ten? I think? Eleven?"
"Lana, you have to know these things," she scolds me. "You can't just think about how many weeks you are."
I laugh at her sudden impatience. "I'm sure I can ask the doctor about that too."
She nods with her eyes glued to my stomach. "When are you guys going to tell everyone? I'm dying to tell Zayn. I can't take the secret anymore."
"Yeah, I feel bad because Harry wanted to tell him sooner, but I wanted to wait until I got closer to the three-month mark and he respected that, of course."
"No, I get that," she pinches her bottom lip before she starts to smile. "I'm just so excited to see a picture of the little thing. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl or do you not care?"
"At the end of the day, I'm hoping for a one hundred percent healthy baby regardless of the gender, but...I feel like both have their advantages for obvious reasons and then not-so-obvious reasons."
"Like what?"
I picture Jane, which makes me sad in this scenario. "If it's a girl, I'm just worried that Jane might feel like she's being replaced, but I also kind of want it to be a girl because I've fantasized about having a daughter. Then again, I wouldn't be opposed to having a boy who looks just like Harry. I'll be happy either way, but there's just downsides to both."
"Of course, yeah," she nods sympathetically. "Are you going to tell Jane before everyone else?"
"Yeah, so Jameson is watching her right now while we go to the appointment, and then we're going to pick her up and take her to lunch and tell her," I smile tightly, admittedly nervous about how it's going to go.
Reading my mind, Maya asks, "Did you ever think you'd have a kid with someone who already has a kid with someone else? Is that where your nerves are coming from?"
I tilt my head as I consider it, splaying my hands out on my tiny pot belly. "I didn't think I would be in this situation, but it's obviously a lot better now that we're both on such great terms with Allison. It's just different because I'd be less nervous if there wasn't another kid involved and I love Jane so much. The last thing I want is for her to almost feel like she doesn't know which family she belongs in if Allison and Jameson are to have kids together too, you know what I mean?"
She pouts just like I am. "Wait, that's really sad."
"I know!" I laugh faintly. "I think it'll be okay, I just have my reservations about it."
