criminal minds chatfic

14

BAU

Derek: Guys

Y/n: what the FUCK do you want stupid fucking cocksucker go back to the hole you crawled out from you cockroach lookalike

Emily: I'm? 😭

Hotch: Y/n are you okay

Derek: Girl ... 💀💀

Y/n: sorry im in a bad mood let me rephrase
Y/n: yes derek you sexy bald awesome cool hot man what do you want🤗

Emily: I laughed a little I fear

JJ: You laughed so hard you almost pissed yourself that is not "a little"

Emily: okay exposing me😭 I'm done💔
Emily: anyway
Emily: Dercake what did you want to say

Derek: DERCAKE🤨⁉️🖕 Blocked

JJ: 😂

Derek: Ok whatevaaaa 😝😝
Derek: I was gonna say who the fuck moved the coffee machine

Emily: SOMEONE MOVED IT?
Emily: they need to square up I am gonna FIGHT THEIR ASS 😡👊

Derek: I literally don't know where they put it I'm so pissed

Y/n: no fr thats why im in a bad mood😒
Y/n: that and spencer said i couldnt stack donuts on it 😢💔💔

Emily: well okay then

Hotch: I had to get rid of a few things, including the coffee machine, due to budget cuts. Sorry.

Derek: YOU WHAT

Spencer: [Replying to: "I had to get rid of a few things, including the coffee machine, due to budget cuts. Sorry."] I quit

Y/n: LMFAOO

Emily: HOTCH YOY COULD'VE GOT RID OF ANYTHING BUT YOU WENT WITHTHE THING THAG KEEPS US ALL ALOVE? 😡😭

Y/n: he couldve gotten rid of derek and instead he chose to get rid of the most important thing in the building

Derek: HELLO? 💀😭

Spencer: I agree
Spencer: Getting rid of the coffee is borderline sadistic

JJ: You're really serious about your coffee huh😅

Hotch: Sorry guys

Y/n: does this mean we have to go somewhere and PAY for overpriced shitty coffee now

Derek: This is my thirteenth reason actually

Rossi: What does that mean?

Emily: it means he's gonna kill himself

Rossi: Oh
Rossi: I don't think that's a good idea

Derek: No coffee = no living
Derek: Tying the noose as we speak🥴😵

Y/n: finally 😴