BAU
18:23
Spencer: Where are you guys?
Hotch: I'm currently on my way to the hospital. Is Y/n still in surgery?
Spencer: Yes. Thankfully the unsub didn't hit any major arteries or organs.
Emily: thank FUCK
Emily: me n JJ are almost here
Derek: I'm On my way! in the car rn
Emily: On my way!
Derek: NOW IS NOT THE TIME 😡
Emily: I guess you're right🙁
Derek: Oh ???
Emily: that was physically painful to type jesus fuck I think I'm having a stroke
Derek: Wrap it up
Emily: ur dad should've wrapped his dick up in a condom instead of conceiving you
Derek: ...
Emily: I'm so funny ijbol
Spencer: Guys.
Emily: RIGHT SORRY
Emily: we're like 2 minutes away
Spencer: Okay good
Emily: 🫡🫡
Penelope: I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M RUNNING UP THE STAIRS RN ‼️‼️
BAU
21:42
Spencer: She's waking up
Derek: Aw😔
Spencer: Excuse me?
Derek: I mean YAYYY
Emily: okay girl
Penelope: Does anyone want coffee while I'm at the machine??? 💖
JJ: Yes please
Penelope: Ofc sweet cheeks
Penelope: Reid?
Spencer: No, I'm okay, thank you
Penelope: 🫶
Spencer: I think you guys should wait a bit to see her, I don't want her to be overwhelmed
Hotch: Good idea
Penelope: I hope she's okay ☹️☹️💖
Derek: I'm sure she'll be fine baby girl
Emily: stop flirting whore
Derek: No THANKS 💜
Y/n: haiiid
Emily: oh hey girl
Y/n: sonce is trynt to TAKEB my oheine
Derek: Translation?
Emily: Spencer is trying to take her phone
Derek: Ohhh
Y/n: GGRRGN
Penelope: How are you feeling honey? 🙁💞
Y/n: iuch :(
Emily: well yeah ouch you got stabbed
Derek: I will now be quoting "iuch :(" in my day to day life
Y/n: nooooo
Emily: 😭
Hotch: I think you two should let her rest instead of winding her up
Derek: Ho is u coo
Emily: he doesn't know what that means ❤️
Rossi: I agree with Aaron
Derek: First names damn 👀
Penelope: Hotch is about to be Rossi's seventeenth wife 🥳🥳
Hotch: No
JJ: 😂😭
Rossi: I have not been married 16 times and Hotch is not going to be my next wife
Emily: whatever you say oldie locks 👏
Derek: Oldie locks 😭😭💀
JJ: Yeah and you're baldie locks 😃
Derek: Okay rude
Emily: who cares
Derek: I hope you get stabbed next 😟
Penelope: Man 😔😔
Derek: Just joshing !!!!
Emily: yeah that's what I THOUGHT
Emily: stupid bitch
Derek:
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Emily: the way idgaf ... 😇
Hotch: Stop arguing.
Derek: He whipped out the period omg
Penelope: Periodddd 🙂↕️🙂↕️💅
Emily: imagine Hotch as a drag queen
JJ: ??? I'd rather not imagine that
Hotch: You're all getting very sidetracked here. We're supposed to be focusing on Y/n and what happened to her, not whatever you're joking about.
Emily: yes sir sorry sir 😔
---
a/n short chapter because idk 🐑🐑 meow bye guys
YOU ARE READING
criminal minds chatfic
Fanfictionincludes (list will be updated as story goes on): queer characters crimes/gore/violence (canon typical) jemily (will & jj r divorced) exaggerated personalities fem!reader (she/her) lots of sex references and swearing obviously mental health issues s...
