Like I Would

exact words.

7th august,2020

devins on her way to school,she doesn't want to go in today,a pit in her stomach just sitting there
she looks down at her phone which is currently ringing
"xan"
she sighs before picking her phone up and answering the call
"hey babe" xander says which makes chills run down devin's spine,not in a good way.
in a way she is weirded out by it.
"hey" she answers before putting her phone on speaker and setting it aside
"look im sorry about last night" he says
"its nothing" devin answers
honestly she could careless about anything right now
all her mind spoke to her was,matt.
"so we cool?" he asks
"yea yea" she answers
"what are you doing" he asks
"nothing driving to school"
"you sound off" he says
"nothing im just tired"
"you know you cant lie to me devin"
"i said its nothing! ill call you later" she hangs up.

meanwhile in the van...

"MATT WHAT?" nate shouted from the back seat
"oh my god why are you guys overreacting" matt chuckles
"we arent overreacting,we're concerned because you threw something that couldve been so beautiful out of the fucking window" alahna says
"ME? she is the one who started dating that douche xander" matt explained
"hes not all bad" chris says going through his phone
catching everyones attention
the rest of the car just stares at chris like he said something diabolical
chris looks back at them worried
"i mean- yea fuck that xander guy" he hesitates
matt looks back at the road
"i dont think anything couldve happened anyways" he slightly sighed
"idk about you but i had hight hopes" nick said
"well sorry to bring your hopes down nick" matt answered
"im confused as to why she didnt tell me about her and xander" alahna wondered
" shes been secretive the entire time shes been with us its not unlikely of her" nick said
"not but that day when she met us after coming back from fort worth it seemed like she was going to tell us" nate said
"she did get to the part where xander asked her out" chris remembers
"and then she told us she said no" nick shrugs
"i need to talk to her" alahna says
"no alahna,i dont wanna make things worse" matt said parking in front of the school

devin sat in her car,shaking her leg uncontrollably
should she go inside?
whats the worst that could happen right?
she could face matt.
matt who said he likes her
matt who is so grounded,so attentive
so pretty.
said he likes her.
should she go in?

the triplets,alahna and nate walk in the school,and get to their lockers before first period
matts eyes search through the corridors
so many people walking by him
but he searches for devin.
did she not come today?
is this how it is going to be?
is she never going to show him her face ever again?
her beautiful face with those pretty brown eyes he looked at everyday?
he took them for granted.
he looks back at his locker and sighs
"hey fuckers" he heard and instantly looked at her
shes here.
looking tired but shes here.
"hey dev"chris says
everyone starts saying their heys,and hi's
matt stayed silent.
he doesnt know what he should do
"you guys seem off today" she comments before pulling something out of her locker and closing it back
nick shrugs
"come on alahna we've got math" devin says and walks away with alahna following her

chris and nate sit down on the lunch table chit chatting-waiting for the others to join them soon alahna devin and nick join them
they sit and start talking about meeting up in the afternoon to put their trip together,for which they leave day after.
"i need to tell you guys something,idky i kept it a secret for this long but yea"
the group hums,knowing exactly whats coming they're way.
"me and xander are dating" devin sighs
"woah that sounds so fucking serious when u say it out loud like that" devin says nervously chuckling pointing at her mouth as she speaks
she waits for their reaction
"so...?"
"thats so cool!" chris breaks the silence by speaking half heartedly and everyone reacts almost in the same way
devin frowns.
"where the hell is matt?" she asks looking around
"i dont know its been so long since hes skipped lunch with us" nate says
"ill see around for him" devin gets up going where you know.
"whats with them and their hiding spots man" chris says stuffing a fry in his face

devin looks down the seats of the bleachers
"hey"
matt looks up from his phone noticing devin
"oh" he sits up straight
"hi" he continues
devin comes and sits down next to him
"want some company" she smiles at him.
shes trying to get past everything.
him saying he likes her and all that.
she doesnt wanna think about it.
it makes her stomach turn.
"i dont mind" matt returns a small smile before looking away
devin pulls out a cigarette from her pocket
"how have you never been caught by teachers or your grandma" matt says looking at her pull it out of her pocket
"i have to pretend being a girl whose never even touched a cigarette" she says lighting it up in between her lips
"so even if they find these theyre gonna think im being set up" she chuckles
"smart" matt says
"talking about pretending" devin sighs
"can i talk to you about something?" she continues
"if its about the thing i said earlier,about me liking you,look i know you dont like me back and i dont expect you to,well now that you're dating xan-"
matt gets interrupted between his blabbering
"matt-matt,its not that" devin stops him
"even if you like me,doesn't mean we cant be friends" devin says.
wish she used these exact words the first time when her friend told her the exact thing
"then what is it you wanna talk about?"
"you know what- its nothing" she sighs
"there is something" matt says waiting for an answer
devin was never big on sharing,especially her problems when theyre freshly wounded.
shes afraid they'll see how damaged she is and leave.
she can't talk about xander to him.
not now at least.
"will you help with the human resources assignment" devin looks up at matt staring at her with a look of concern
"oh- yea of course even thought youre better at the subject" matt is confused.
"lets go now,we've got class" devin gets up lending matt a hand to lean on
matt smiled at her
shes making it so hard to not fall for her.