I Bet My Life

Twenty: Waves

Obi-Wan opened his eyes slowly, only to find himself surrounded by shades of white. He sat up, rubbing his eyes as he began to pick up on details of his surroundings. It looked like one of the many temple gardens that resided in the Coruscant temple, but it had too much of a clean scheme to it. It was almost pure, if anything. He got up on his feets and decided to walk around, noticing the white ripples that formed by his feet every time he stepped. It felt so unreal, yet he could feel the plants when he reached his hand out to touch a leaf on one of the surrounding trees. Was he dreaming? Was he dead? Obi-Wan wasn't able to explain this phenomenon, but it had an underlying peacefulness to it. At this point, the former Jedi took a look at his robes, which were clean of any dirt or lightsaber burns that he gained earlier in battle. He looked at his boots, only to find that they were polished. He retracted his hand that was examining the tree leaf and brought it to his forehead, discovering that he was no longer bleeding profusely. He looked at his fingers that weren't covered in blood with a puzzling confusion. Whatever was happening was strange, but what would happen next would be even stranger. Obi-Wan picked up on a familiar presence, but the area around him clouded his vision from interpreting that Force signature. It wouldn't take long for the presence to reveal themselves,

"I wasn't expecting you yet, my apprentice."

Obi-Wan slowly turned around and couldn't believe his eyes. Standing there, in white and cream robes with a welcoming smile plastered on his bearded face, was none other than Qui-Gon Jinn. He looked the same as Obi-Wan had remembered him. Long, dark brown-and-gray hair with half of it being pulled back. The former Jedi stood there in awe, almost unable to comprehend what he was seeing. This couldn't be real, yet his late master was standing there as if nothing had happened to him. Obi-Wan must have been standing there staring at the man in front of him for too long as Qui-Gon nodded towards his former apprentice,

"Come, Obi-Wan. We have much to talk about."
"How… What… How… How are you even here?"
"I know this is a lot for you at the moment, but I will explain everything, my son. Come, walk with me."

Obi-Wan nodded slightly, following Qui-Gon towards the center of the Temple Gardens. Despite not knowing where he was, the former apprentice knew exactly where Qui-Gon was going before they even reached it. In every Temple Garden, there was a large bonsai tree at the heart of the grounds. They were beautiful trees as their branches twisted together to form the bases of smaller extensions that gracefully stuck out. Each leaf was a healthy, bright green that had its own unique arrangement of patterns. The pair stood there, admiring the grace and elegance of the grand tree, lively as it towered over them. Qui-Gon folded his arms behind his back, breathing in the clean air,

"One of the first lessons a Jedi learns is how the Force flows through everything. It's part of everything that is living. The trees. The sand. The dirt. The animals, whether they are big or small. And the people that make up the population. Everything in some way is connected to the Force."
"Yes, Master. I remember that from when I was a youngling."
"Well then, my son. Do you remember learning about the Force in life and death?"
"The Force flows through every living thing until it succumbs to its predetermined fate, yes?"
"Well, you are half correct, Obi-Wan. The Force does flow through everything living, yes… But its presence is still there after death. It just doesn't go away when something dies."
"Am I dead, Master?"

There was a silence after Obi-Wan asked his question. It wasn't that Qui-Gon didn't know how to answer that, but it wasn't exactly a straight forward one either. The older Jedi sighed before placing a hand on the younger Jedi's shoulder,

"Well, do you think you've died?"
"I'm… I'm not sure."
"Ahh… You're not sure, my apprentice…"
"I mean, I don't feel dead, but I'm standing here with you…"
"Is that necessarily a bad thing, Obi-Wan?"
"No, not at all! That's not what I meant!"
"I knew what you meant before. There's no need to apologize, my child."
"How long have you been here, Master?"
"I'm not quite sure. Time works differently here… How old are you?"
"I'm… Force, how old am I?"
"Clearly old enough to have gray streaks."
"Thanks for pointing that out…"
"You're 43 I believe. I think I recall Reva telling me something about your birthday the last time I spoke to her…"

Obi-Wan looked at his Master with a curious, yet confused expression, his interest in the subject begging him to ask questions,

"Wait… You're able to talk to Reva?"
"Well, yes… My abilities in the afterlife allow for me to communicate with the living."
"Then why haven't you tried talking to me?"

By this point, Obi-Wan was staring his former Master in the eyes. Part of him was angry that Qui-Gon hadn't tried reaching out before. He could have helped him, given him advice on how to train Anakin, could have been there to comfort him when the training became difficult and he spent sleepless nights contemplating what he was doing wrong. There were times when Obi-Wan was about to give up training Anakin because it was taking a negative toll on his physical and mental health, but he pushed through it and told himself that he would disrespect his Master's dying wish. However, Qui-Gon clearly seemed like he didn't care enough. That thought alone brought Obi-Wan close to a breakdown, the tears swelling in his eyes. Qui-Gon saw his apprentice holding back his emotions, and it broke his heart. He had his reasons for not communing with Obi-Wan earlier, but he was questioning whether or not it was worth it. All he could do now was try to fix the mess that he made. He pulled his former apprentice close into a hug, comforting the younger man like a father holds his son in moments of sadness. Obi-Wan couldn't hold back anymore and let go. He let himself fall apart, choking on hard sobs that had been built up for far too long. They stood there in the silence until the Former Master quietly spoke up,

"I'm truly sorry, Obi-Wan… I wasn't expecting you to react like this. Perhaps I've been… hesitant…"
"But why, Master?"
"I… I've seen everything that has happened since I've moved onto the Force… The corruption of the Jedi… The fall of the Republic… The destruction of the Jedi Order…The Rise of Palpatine's Empire…"
"Anakin's fall?"
"Yes… I've that too…"
"Then why didn't you stop him? You have that ability to."
"I cannot change what has already happened and what is destined."
"But he was supposed to be the Chosen One."
"Yes, that remains true… In order to find true balance, one must level both playing fields to be equal."
"So, you're saying that Anakin's turn was destined?"
"Not exactly, but hopefully the prophecy is fulfilled when the Force is equally balanced."
"You still have hope in him? After everything he's done?"
"I mean, I haven't given up on you yet."
"I don't deserve it… yet, I keep finding myself in situations where I'm okay."
"It wasn't time for you to leave your life behind yet, my son… You'll know when the time is right."
"Is that why I'm here? I'm dying, or maybe dead."

Qui-Gon sighed, placing a hand on his former apprentice's shoulder. As he spoke, his focus shifted back to the focal tree in the Temple Gardens. Obi-Wan followed suit,  having his ears open to listen to whatever his former Master would tell him. The older of two began to speak,

"As you know and have grown to learn, the Force always has mysterious ways of working. Sometimes, it's there to teach us a lesson. Other times, it's there to serve as a reminder that our lives aren't supposed to last forever… However, there are times when we can't leave life just yet because our purpose in the galaxy hasn't been fulfilled. I know that many Jedis grew up under the belief that attachments are dangerous and should be avoided at all costs, but it's those attachments to loved ones that give us a reason for living. We want to be better people for the people around us… Be better every day… But, we also have to let go sometimes so our loved ones can move onto the next chapter of life. We can't hold them back from their own growth… In either case sometimes, we are given that choice. The choice of whether or not to embrace life or let go…"
"I think I understand, Master."

Qui-Gon let out a small smile at his apprentice one last time, not sure when the next time they would see one another again. Then, Obi-Wan walked towards the light, slowly disappearing the further he walked into it. Qui-Gon's voice could be heard one final time before his former apprentice fully left him for the time being,

"And May the Force be With You, Obi-Wan."