Once Upon A Time (1D fanfic)

Chapter 46- Once Upon A Time

My heart thudded in my chest. Then it stopped. Dead? She's dead?! My hands curled into painful fists at my side. Rue opens her mouth to say something, but I don't want to hear it. I don't care. There are three things I care about, THREE MEASLY THINGS, and now one of them is gone. HOW COULD GOD DO THIS TO ME?! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HER! Anger courses through my body, like flames licking at a burning building. I don't waste one more second in this stupid place. I wheel around and shove past the shocked people behind me. I don't bother apologizing. I hear their cries for me to wait and stop, but they mean nothing.

I leap down the steps two at a time. I run through the lobby with an incomprehensible amount of speed, zipping right past the surprised doorman, and straight into the freezing cold outdoors. My feet brush against the sidewalk, I'm not giving them enough time to come into full contact. I'm just running. Faster and faster. The people and lights blur by, the hollers and panicked honking of cars do nothing to slow me down. There is just one singular thought on my mind, one singular focus. Azul. My brain is having trouble even fathoming a lifeless shell of her. Dead to the world, cold to the touch, and never to smile again. Their trios down to two. It's no longer Denise, Kenneth, and Azul. Now it's just Denise and Kenneth. No longer will I have to tuck three children into bed. Now I only have to tuck in two. Azul's never going to get the opportunity to beat cancer. She's never going to get to have her beautiful blonde hair grow back. She'll never get a boyfriend, she'll never be kissed, she'll never go to prom. There are so many 'never's she won't get to experience. That little four year old bundle of gorgeous joy...is dead.

Somewhere, in my subconscious, I hear their voices. Beckoning for me to slow down and wait. I can't though. Those children need me, and I need them. They're all I have left. I'm all they have left.

An ambulance shoots by, just barely missing me. The thought flits across my mind that I should have looked before crossing. But who cares? At least if I die, Azul will have someone up their with her. I don't want her to be alone. Though, of course now she has her parents. She told me she wanted to see them, that God wanted to see her. But couldn't they have just watched her on Earth! What good is her being dead going to do! I need her more than they do!

A spray of water hits my face as a car zips by. It's not like it matters. If Azul was here, she would have laughed and asked to do it again. But Azul's not here. So, I stop long enough to scream at the car, to get it all out. I stomp my foot like a child, waving my fists in the air, and pretty much throwing a tantrum on the side to the road. People stop and stare. When they do, I turn to them and scream for them to mind their own business. If they were in my shoes, they'd understand. If they were in my shoes, I wouldn't have to deal want this. I don't see my own tears, I see hers. I see her crystal tears streaming down her cheeks. I see her crumpled up form, rocking her body back and forth as she cried about the pain. I see those images, and remember that she's dead. I see those things, and remember I wasn't there. She'll never get to taste the chocolate chip cookies my mom and I baked the day after I got home. We won't be eating out anymore, she won't beg me to get get ice cream. No more dress up games. No more ballerina Barbie.

No more pain.

The hospital building looms above me, a site that I once loved seeing. Now I just want to burrow in a hole and cry. I don't want to go in. I don't want to see Denise's beautiful face streaked with tears. I can't bear to see Kenneth sobbing because his best friend is dead. I can't. But before I can even make the decision to turn around and run while I still can, a nurse pokes her head through the door. A mixture of relief and sadness is evident on her face. I freeze up, wishing maybe this is all just a sick joke. I could live with this being a joke. I don't want this to be reality. It can't be.

"Oh, Mia, thank God you're here. The children have been waiting for you." And just like that the nurse punctures through my hesitant thoughts. I unfreeze and rush towards the door. Hesitating only long enough to quickly apologize before I'm off and running again. Nearly flying past the unusually white walls. Up a set of stairs, and straight into the children's ward. But they aren't there. Before I can stop a nurse and ask her, I hear them. I hear the panicked and depressed sobs of sadness. My heart broke a little more inside. I slowly open the door to Kenneth's room, only to find it empty. I don't even bother to open Denise's, the sound is coming from her room. It's coming from Azul's.