Skulduggery Pleasant oneshots

Great step-aunt Candice

The family reunion was tonight and Valkyrie was not looking forward to it one bit. Usually, she didn't mind reunions on her Mums side but her Great step-aunt Candice was coming over from the other side of Irland to visit. Val had never met her Great step-aunt before but from what she's heard from her parents she's like Beryl and Fergus mixed into one human but...worse. This was going to be awful, especially as she was the only one going who had never actually met her and that meant that she would be extra focused on her according to her mum. Great.

Her outfit was beautiful, if she did say so herself. Ripped baggy jeans, black crop top and some bulky black boots that her parents got her for her birthday that were amazing. Her hair was down and she had put extra of the 'magical healing rock' over her knuckles so that they were completely void of bruses.

The reunion was at a hired out leasure centure, she was greatfull it wasn't at a golf course as she swore she would never go back to one after what happened last time, and she was terrified. Not the kind of terrified she felt when she was about to die or being tortured, but the kind that made her want to fake sick because she didn't revise for her maths test. Unfortunately for Valkyrie as she had her reflection she wasn't accustomed to this type of fear, but she definitely was to the other type.

Her parents got out of the car and she followed (still debating weather it was worth it running into traffic and getting hit by a car) walking into the building. They were greeted by everyone. It was mind numbingly boring pretending to care about this person's holiday and that person's baby.

Then she saw her. The devil herself came over and hugged her mum. "My dear its so good to see you. Congratulations on the pregnancy! Oo and this must be Stephanie." Her Great step-aunt Candice pulled her into a hug that she stiffly returned. "You two leave us alone, and give me and her some time to talk. Go on, shew." She said with obviously fake infusiasm. Candice didn't even give her parents time to respond before sweeping Valkyrie away. "My your so tall. And look at your arms! So strong. I'm glad your exercising but buys don't find that attractive you know?" Wow, this was off to a great start.

Candice went on for an hour gossiping about people at the event to her. All of the stuff was incredibly judgy and unfair. She even spoke bad about her parents in front of her! Who does that? But everytime she tried to get away her Great step-aunt grabbed her arm and held her there. For a woman who told her not to have so mutch muscle she was surprisingly strong.

All of a sudden 'spooky scary skeletons' played from her phone. Thank god Skulduggery was calling, something exciting to do. She excused herself and stepped out. "I'm so glad you called. It was so boring. My Great something or other aunt would not let me go!"
"We found another dead body. Its urgent and we need you to come in now."
"Finally, something exciting!"
"Val..."
"Right, dead guy coming."

What she didn't realise was that ger aunt was listening in the whole time and was very curious as to what was going on. So she followed her when Valkyrie asked her mum to go to a friend's and when a very expensive Bentley pulled up and she got in, Candice followed them with her car.

"Skulduggery I think someone's following us." Valkyrie said, looking at the car that's been tailing them.
"Yes, I was waiting for you to notice. I've done a loop around this road five times now." There was a certain smugness in his voice that was always there when he was always there when he mentioned something that no one else had picked up on.
"I can't see the driver should we pull over."
"Yes. I'll get out first, if I signal you get out."
He got out and she followed. "Do you ever listen to instructions?"
"I think we both know the answer to that by now." She smirked.
Skulduggery got his gun out and knocked on the tinted window. It was rolled down to shoe her Great step-aunt Candice.
"Oh hell." She muttered.

The sensitive were called and they were given the job of calming her down. After a lot of screaming, and threatening on Skulduggerys' part, she finally stopped yelling. The sensitive arrived and wiped her memory at last. "I should be more careful."
"Yes you should."
"To be fair you pulled your gun out and walked up to her as a skeleton without knowing if she was a mortal or not."
"Shut up." He snapped.