This was not our plan.

ch 20: for better or worse

I watched as Cleo began to shake, softly at first whilst searching my eyes for any relent — but her shakes quickly grew more static.

I'd never seen Cleo so vulnerable and weak. She started to sob and use her arms to cover her head.

"I can't Fallon. Please. Please." She whimpered, her legs giving out as she fell onto her knees. I stood frozen staring down at her, my own hot tears staining my face.

I wanted to tell. I wanted to scream at her for lying to me. I wanted to fear her, to think of her as a monster who killed another human being.

But try as I might, it was impossible.

After all Maddie was her sister, and I have no idea what could have possibly led up to the murder.

Slowly, I approached her and knelt in front of her. Her arms moving slightly allowing me to meet her red tinted eyes.

"He hurt Maddie. Her hurt me. Killing her was never gonna be enough for him." She whispered, more tears falling from her eyes.

"I didn't plan for it to happen. It just did. Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around her with Cleo quickly pulling me closer into her body.

I stroked her hair gently as she sobbed in my arms, as she whispered apologies and gibberish into my skin. The betrayal I felt from Cleo was nothing compared to the disappointment in myself for not figuring this out.

My dream, my psssion is clearly something I'm not good at.

"Why did you do it." I stated. I wasn't even asking her. I said it as though I could go back and revoke her decision to take Jason's life.

My hand stroked her hot cheek, which was now resting on my lap. Her long hair was spread across my thighs and the hard floor we sat on.

"The night I found out he killed Maddie.." she whimpered, furrowing her eyebrows. I could tell she was trying not to start crying again.

I rubbed her cheek again, prompting her to continue.

"He did something to me, that I never wanted to speak about Fallon. He raped me." Her voice became low as if someone else would hear us. I felt my entire body go cold.

The sound of my refrigerator going is the only noise that filled the room. Had I just forced Cleo to tell me that? I feel like an asshole.

I said nothing and simply leaned down and kissed her cheek twice, then sighing.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Tears threatening to spill out of my own eyes as I continued to stroke her cheek.

Glancing down pained me. I've never seen Cleo this way, and I never want to see her like this again. She looks broken like I ripped out a peace of her soul that I couldn't figure out how to put back in.

"I just want my sister back." Cleo cried, finally bringing her eyes to mine.

"I didn't kill him to get her back because I know that's how it works, but I wasn't going to sit there and let him hurt anyone else." Cleo spoke, my own tears falling into my lap right beside Cleo's face.

She sat up and took my face into her hands, wiping my tears. More spilled out as she did that, my eyes lingering on hers.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you." Cleo said, holding my face gently in her hands. Her light brown eyes glistening as she looked at me. I couldn't do or say anything to her.

All I had the strength for was to stare.

I'm not even mad at her. I'm mad at myself, for not realizing this earlier. I'm mad that I just forced her to tell me about being assaulted when that is quite literally one of the hardest things to have to tell somebody.