Special Unit

21) Rollercoaster of emotions

It was a little frustrating that I didn't get much out of Juliet last night but today was eye opening.

My Uncle was able to see us today as planned, Doctors saying he was having a good day. After a simple breakfast and a quiet morning walk around the area with Max, Juliet gave Max directions to the Hospital.

Apart from the directions she didn't say much at all. She sat in the back and typed away on her phone screen the hour long drive it took to get there.

Once we where in the underground carpark she exited the car and walked straight to the lift access into the hospital, not waiting for us to collect our stuff and follow.

Not wanting to be judgmental or presume she was avoiding another conversation she could dodge answering my questions, I slowly followed as Max locked the car. All three of us a good ten meters apart, the lift arrived just as I got to the entry. Max made it in without the doors having to be reopened and the lift jolted to life after Juliet pressed the button.

Juliet again continued to type away on her phone as we ascended to the third floor.

Max gripped my hand; I looked over to see his soft smile and I knew, I would be okay.

The lift stopped at the second but no one got in, then jolted up to the third floor, only for Juliet to wordlessly exit and guide us through the hospital corridors.

Max held my hand and I carried my bag on the other shoulder. We turned a corner to see Juliet stopped in front of double doors. She pressed the button on the wall to the side of the door as we approached.

The nurse who opened the door greeted Juliet verbally then nodded at Max and myself. Juliet advised us of Neil's room number, then turned back to the nurse and quietly discussed Neil's current state.

I was glad to have Max beside me as I entered room 324, I had never met the man before, nor talked to him and yet there I was entering a hospital room, where it's said he will stay till he passes.

The man in the bed looked gone already, his skin was not a normal colour by any means. Max held me a little tighter and I realized I was crying. The tears had rolled down my cheeks and onto the blouse top I chose to wear today. I blame the hormones for that too, not knowing him my feelings should not have been so strong.

Juliet was still outside the room talking to the nurse, so I used the opportunity to look at the patient chart.

Not much was legible to me but the initial diagnosis stood out. Cystic Fibrosis (liver disease), which would explain the skin colour.

I put the chart back quickly when the outside conversation got closer to the door to the point I could hear them. Which reminds me I need to talk to Dr. Janet Paisley regarding my Skills or lack thereof.

Max removed my hand bag from me and placed it on the visitors chair next to Neil's bed. I was somewhat frozen at the end of the bed, till Juliet was touching Neil's face and talking to him. Once Neil was cognizant his blood shot eyes latched onto mine.

"May?" He questioned with a raspy voice. I nodded, then answered with a verbal yes as Juliet gave him some water through a straw.

"Sit me up love." He asked Juliet. Once he was comfortable, he looked down the bed at me again. "You look just like her." His voice was a little clearer. I had assumed he was talking about my mother, who's face doesn't come to mind when I look in the mirror. All I could do was smile at his memory of my mother and hope it was a good one.

The afternoon was a rollercoaster of emotions, Max moving to stand with me then giving me space multiple times.

Neil wanted to meet me before he ran out of time, as he put it. He regretted not finding my mum earlier or reaching out when Nan passed. He said he has had many regrets but the biggest was his hatred towards his sibling who not only left him to care for his mother but was not burdened with the hereditary disease, because she was a Special. He has only just realized for himself that it was never about her leaving or being a Special but the disease itself made his spiteful.

He had the warning that if my child is not a Special it too could have the hereditary disease, the thought had my heart break for our unborn child.

Although it broke me more to ask the man, who had just been brutally honest against himself, I did ask when he first looked for my mother or me.

Turns out he only asked Juliet to find his sister when he was moved to Hospice not that long ago. She found out my Mum has passed and that I was the only living relative. So, they didn't intentionally leave me in the system or orphaned. Which for some reason made me cry harder as we left the Hospital.