Consider Me Gone

Chapter 30.

Toni

"So, how about those Ravens?" My eyes narrowed at Clara's attempt to downplay my predicament. Normally, I would have chuckled alongside her at my misfortune, but with a fractured tibia and enough stitches in my head to rival a pin cushion, laughter was the last thing on my mind.

"Clara, don't start," I said with a tired voice.

Clara looked at me sympathetically, "I'm sorry Toni, I don't even know what to say to help you through this. This...this is a mess."

"Yeah, no kidding." All I wanted was to disappear and never come back. My entire morning was wasted being examined by a parade of interns, while also becoming the main subject of gossip at St. Thomas. And let's not even talk about the grilling I got from the authorities!

Roosevelt and his team of officers proved to be completely useless. Instead of focusing on my case, he seemed more concerned with connecting my injuries to Tara's past kidnapping attempt. It was all a big joke, and by the time he finished questioning me, all I wanted was for my boyfriend to come and comfort me.

However, Mark was currently unavailable because according to Roosevelt, Mark had gotten into a fight with Jax after learning about my attack. He still believed that Jax was behind this whole thing, and even though I had no proof against Jax, Mark's dedication convinced me that he was innocent in all this. Because even though I've only known Mark for a short time, I know him well enough to know that he doesn't go around picking fights with people. Especially with someone who could cause him serious harm.

"What do you want from me? What do you need me to do?"

I sighed, there wasn't anything she could do for me in this situation. "Just remind me that it will all be worth it in the end."

Clara pouted her lower lip as she looked at me, "Of course it will!" Clara walked up next to my bed and held my hand, "Look, I know you don't share the gruesome parts of your life with me, but I'm not stupid Toni, I know that there are things I don't see behind the scenes. But you have held your head high through it all; don't let this moment in your life diminish everything you've worked for."

"I don't even know what to do from here," I admitted.

"You do what you always do, you fight. I saw you fight for your job and your marriage, and I also saw you fight like hell for your sanity during your divorce. You're a fighter Toni, it's who you are."

"Did you get that off of a fortune cookie?" I teased her.

"No, I'm just that good, and I also want to see you fight like hell to get out of this town."

"One leg and all?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Clara rolled her eyes, "I don't care if you have to hop on one leg out of this town, you're getting out!"

Clara and I shared a moment of laughter, and it suddenly dawned on me how much I would miss her once I departed. She has been a constant source of support in my life, through both the good times and the bad, and she has shown me what true friendship means after experiencing such a profound betrayal. I would miss her every day, and I only hope that she would visit me later on.

Speaking of sincere individuals, I realized I needed to apologize to Mark. It took some time, but I no longer think he was unfaithful to me. I suppose I was just afraid of being hurt once more, so I jumped to conclusions.

"So, are you and Mark..."

"I don't know, I'm assuming he wants nothing to do with me after all of this."

"Toni," Clara began but I stopped her.

"No, it's okay, really. I mean, I get it if he wants to end things. This whole thing was crazy."

"Yeah, but none of this was your fault!"

"Wasn't it though? I mean, would any of this happen to him if he would have gone out with someone else?"

"Maybe!" Clara said quickly, but we both knew that her response was a lie. If anything she was just trying to protect my ego.

"Yeah, maybe not," I snorted.

Clara was in the process of saying something else but then was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. She was already fuming so she opened the door aggressively, only for her anger to dissolve when she saw Mark at the door carrying a bouquet.

"Mark!" she said excitedly and then moved to the side so that he could enter. My mouth nearly fell open upon seeing him, and for a moment I wondered if Jax had hit him too hard to still want to be with me after all of this.

Mark looked broken to see me lying there in bed, but I was too stunned to react to his pity. "Oh honey," he rushed over to my side to get a better look at me, but all the while I just lay there mute; too shocked to say anything of importance.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Clara said before disappearing out of the room. As soon as the door closed, Mark became angry.

"I'm going to kill him," he declared.

I blinked back a few times, surprised to hear Mark talk this way. He was usually flirty and relaxed, he was hardly ever angry like this. Matter of fact, I'd never seen him this way.

"Mark, I don't think--"

"No, Toni! You should have seen his smug face. I know he's behind this, and when I catch him--"

"Then what Mark?!" I snapped, "An endless cycle of chaos? Another broken leg? What else has to happen for all of this to stop!"

Mark's shoulders fell at my response, and he threw his head back and sighed. "I'm trying to protect you here Toni. I know that we come from different worlds, but the rules are the same, I'm supposed to protect you."

"Mark," I shook my head, "Protect me by leaving this alone. If this is Jax, and he blames me for Opie's death, then I don't want to stick around to play this game."

Mark nodded his head, "You're right, I'm sorry. I just...I hate seeing you like this. This shouldn't have happened."

Mark sat next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. The smell of his cologne filled my nostrils providing me with a warm feeling of love and safety. "You know when they booked me, all I could think about was coming here to you. I wanted to see that you were okay. I don't think I'd be able to cope if something ever happened to you."

"I'm sure there would be a line of women waiting to help you cope," I teased. However, Mark's face remained serious.

"I'm serious Toni, I know that it's soon, but I love you, Toni. I've known it for a while actually, I just hadn't said it because I was partially afraid that you wouldn't say it back."

"Partially?"

"Yeah, before this whole thing, I was confident that you felt the same way I did, but then I could feel you slipping away from me after."

"I'm sorry," I said feeling immediately guilty.

"No, don't be sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. You've been hurt before, I get that. I just didn't want the reason I lost you to be based on a lie."

Mark gently kissed my forehead, and at that instant, I understood the contrast in my connections with Mark and Jax. Mark was attentive to my emotions, he valued how things affected me, and he always wished for my well-being. On the other hand, Jax's affection was solely based on his convenience. My feelings didn't matter in his equation, and if I couldn't offer anything more, he would simply walk away.

Mark's love was like a comforting embrace, steady and unwavering. There were no hidden meanings or mixed signals. It was crystal clear - he loved me, and that was the only thing that truly mattered to him.

Finally, I said, "I love you too," to Mark who held me tighter in his arms, relieved to hear me say it back. I felt at ease with my decision to leave with him.

 "Don't worry, my love. I will get us out of here, no matter what it takes. Your safety is my top priority." I believed Mark's promise, and I felt confident he would keep it.